'Watched Outfoxed last night.

God bless Fox News - I seriously love it. I'm not kidding.

I am so happy that Fox News exists.

For my grad school application essay, I wrote a detailed 542 page thesis on Fox News - their style, their tactics, their agenda, their highly-unique approach to journalism, their effect on the country. Then, I read the instructions on the application and begrudgingly cut it down to 4 pages. Whether it's 542 pages or 4 pages, it's shooting fish in a barrel. It's stealing candy from a baby. Who hates candy and could give a fuck.

(I got in to grad school.)

Oh, and in other news hilarity ensued last night when Cronkette apparently told her mom, whom I've yet to meet, that I'm recovering from a speech impediment! Ha! So now she thinks I stutter. Looks like I don't have to worry about making that all-important first impression.

It's not true, by the way - back when I was a master thespian in the theatre (say it Jon Lovitz-style) one of my mentor-types noticed I wasn't prrrojecting prrroperly and recommended speech therapy to my mom. Well, in a game of telephone gone horribly wrong this got back to Cronkette and - wait, no, I'm not going to defend myself.

In honor of Outfoxed, I'm going to let my good friend Bill O'Reilly handle my rebuttal. Take it away, Bill.

It's not true, by the way, and if there's one thing we don't tolerate here in the No-Spin zone it's things that are *not-true.* Now listen, you know and I know there are plenty of left-wing spinners out there who'll say just about anything to tarnish the reputation of Dickie Cronkite. They'll say Dickie lied about this, and Dickie misled about that, when the truth of the matter is he was acting on the same intelligence available to both Tony Blair AND John Kerry. Who are these liberal propogandists to throw out ridiculous claims that Dickie once stuttered, especially when America is at war and our troops are fighting overseas? These people need to just SHUT UP. If they're willing to take cheap shots at Dickie Cronkite during this important historical moment, they should be considered *enemies of the state.*

And that's your Talking Points memo.

Thanks Bill! As an epilogue, I spent the rest of the night stut-stut-stuttering hoping to make an honest woman out of Cronkette. Needless to say, she was not very impressed with my concern.

(On a serious note though, I may joke a lot, but I seriously don't know what I'm going to do without her next year. 'Love you baby - I'm sorry I got us into this long-distance predicament.)


And now, totally shifting gears and blowing out my transmission...how 'bout that Jeremy Piven? Seriously! I commented on Entourage not too long ago, and I still don't think it's great, but Jeremy Piven saves that show. He is the slimy agent - so entertaining to watch, reminiscent of Swimming with Sharks without the whole kidnapping & murder thing. He should be in every scene. And then I catch Old School for the 684th time on HBO and realize he's marvelous in that too, but justifyably overshadowed by Will Farrell's pantheonic performance. And THEN I remember him in PCU. Even Black Hawk Down.

Rush Hour 2 (watch the credits bloopers). ...Heat! Friggin' Heat, people!

As with Michael Bolton, I celebrate the man's entire catalog.

I may be staking my credibility on this one, but Jeremy Piven is the most entertaining "That-Guy" of our generation. No Tom Hanks, but he brings something special to the table every time.

And now...I will stop drinking. Thank you.