I read the comments on this post on Jamie’s blog and immediately the wheels started turning.

Yeah, Dickie, I feel a healthy animosity brewing [between us two]...and, yeah, Dad, any team having to play the Cardinals (102 game winners) has my sympathy (unless it's the Yankees.)

By the way, this guy Jamie and I are THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE posting on baseball. On the EVE OF THE PLAYOFFS. Hell, we’re the only two people posting on sports, period.

Seriously, what is wrong with you people. Aren't you ashamed? What do you have to say for yourselves?

I know everyone on this blogosphere is either feverishly writing for Strange Horizons or busy watching the Sci-Fi Channel, but c’mon – that’s no excuse. Nowhere in the Patriot Act does John Ashcroft say you can’t have more than one hobby, people. Get out and shoot a basketball, would you? It’s called “fresh air” and it smells delicious, as opposed to that zinc smell emanating from your computers. Do yourselves a favor and check it out, sometime. Tell the guys in the pickup game down at the courts that Dickie sent you.

OK, and now that I’ve effectively alienated everyone in the room…back to baseball!

Jamie mentions our shared enemy, the Yankees, even as Jamie and I prepare for war against each other. Anyone care to guess the political comparison that immediately jumped into my head here?

That’s right, exactly!

Ralph Nader!

While Jamie of the Braves and Dickie of the Dodgers bicker and exhaust our valuable resources on bitter in-fighting, we lose sight of the greater enemy. Or at least, we stupidly decide to launch a divisive, nitpicky, internal National League squabble while the true American league threat looms on the horizon, threatening to eat our split-up camps for lunch.

That’s right, The Yanks. The Steinbrenner team of cold, detached, blank-check business.

The team running unchecked and unregulated much to the detriment of the smaller, underprivileged teams around it – teams that do not benefit from the inherited fame and wealth of their name, and then mistaken that advantage for superior ability.

The team that recruits members who join strictly in terms of the bottom line and shameless self-interest. And greed. There’s no heart, no compassion involved – just bucks.

Huh.

What other group does that sound like?

(wink, nudge.)

And sheesh, what about the American League as a whole? Those putzes don’t even play real baseball. Hey American Leaguers, how ‘bout you grow some cajones and put your pitchers in a batter’s box? Then we’ll talk!

So Jamie, I implore you: Don't be like Nader. United we stand, divided we fall and all that stuff, right? Good. I knew you'd see things my way. So I know you'll have no problem discarding the Braves and pooling our combined resources behind the Dilligent Dodger Blue.

Welcome aboard! Everybody, let's give Jamie a hand and congratulate him on making the right choice.