Ho-ho-ho, everybody!

Nothing says Christmas (Eve) like catching a few very long overdue waves. I checked out Ocean Park, 5-7 ft, breaking sharp - but that's what I'm used to from surfing down at El Porto so it's all gravy. And being accustomed to that sharp break at El Porto - as well as the breathtaking view of the sewage treatment plant...well it makes you a better surfer everywhere else you go. Which is good.

I swam out with my friends Joe & Marci - and, of course, my little baby Bertha.

That's right, Bertha honey: Daddy's home!

You could tell she was soo happy to get back out in the water, after months of neglect. You could almost hear her giggling and cooing at the fresh coat of wax. And boy was she thrilled on that first wave we rode - 'just like old times.

Bertha loves her daddy, and daddy's so proud of his little girl. She did so well this morning. And she's getting so big now - almost 9 feet! I can hardly believe my eyes. Nothing says love like 9 feet of fiberglass and wood.

Daddy's home, and he's never gonna leave you alone ever again!

Editor's note: Lies! All lies!

No dolphins this time out, but we were visited by a seal. He popped his head up a few times to check things out and then kept on his way south.

Then we get out of the water, Joe checks his messages, and it turns out his wife's flight to Houston was canceled due to weather. Her connection was through Denver. It's hell out there.

Meanwhile I stand outside shirtless, warmed by the sun.

But the moment will not last.

Lo, the day approaches. I shall be shackled and mocked. They will make me board the metal tube which takes me back to the place where cold and darkness reign.

I turn and look at Joe and Marci, neither of whom face my impending doom. The sun does not break their hearts, as it does mine. I feel like Tom Hanks at the end of Saving Private Ryan. I want to shake them and say, "Earn this!"

They simply do not realize the incredible sacrifice the rest of the nation shoulders so that they might enjoy this warm privilege. They need to learn the history - stories of courageous men and women who nobly answered the call of duty and bravely moved to places called "Indiana," "Illinois," "Ohio," and "Minnesota" so that California, the land of milk and honey, would not be overrun.

They need to know, dammit. They must know!