Girl Child

Muffins first month

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Sat, 11 Oct 08 19:25:00 UT

I hadn't realized how long it's been since I wrote something here. Something about taking care of a baby makes all the days blend together in an unrecognizable conglomerate of naps, meltdowns, and quite tender moments.

I love everything about being a Mommy. It surprises me because I even love the hard stuff.

Last night, for instance, Muffin decided that because he had slept all day, he'd like to stay up later than he usually does. So, it's three in the morning and I just can't get him to go to sleep. I tried to rock him, to nurse him, to wrap him like a baby burrito, and still he was awake. So, I came downstairs with him and just sat with him on the couch. I was so tired. I don't get much sleep at night, of course, and I did not take a nap. Instead I used his nap time to get stuff done around the house.

Even though I was so tired, and a little irritated at him for not going to sleep, I still enjoyed it.

I can't believe how big he's getting. He's very alert now and he makes lots of little noises. I joke with Mommie that when he learns to talk, he's going to talk my ear off. He loves to be naked, and is so good when we give him a bath. He often fights going to sleep. I think it's because he's afraid he's going to miss something. When he does that, I pull out the swing. He can't fight the awesome POWA of the swing. He loves his bouncy chair, especially when it plays the music and vibrates.

I love him very much. I loved him when he was in my tummy, and I felt that love more strongly when he was finally born, but I did not expect to fall in love with him as I got to know him as his own person. But, everyday I fall more and more in love with who he is. I'm so excited to continue watching him grow and developing his own personality. It is the most amazing thing I have ever been a part of.

I'm going to try to blog more because I want to be able to look back on these moments and remember as much as I can. I also want him to be able to someday read what it was like being pregnant with him and bringing him home.

The first month is over, and it was wonderful. I'm looking forward to many, many, many more like it.

Banned books borrowed from jen

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Sat, 4 Oct 08 14:09:00 UT

How to play:

1: Copy this list.
2: Highlight the ones you have read (or at least remember reading).

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddyâs Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. Itâs Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
19. Sex by Madonna
20. Earthâs Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine LâEngle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaidâs Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. Whatâs Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel KeyesM
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. Whatâs Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? Itâs Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Womenâs Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Whereâs Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

The smoke has cleared

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Thu, 2 Oct 08 14:28:00 UT

Well, the smoke has cleared a little and the events of the past few months are slowly filtering into my consciousness. I wonât say that it hasnât been a painful process to start to sort through everything, but in a way it has helped a lot too.

I miss my Gramma. I love that MDâs grandma is so excited about Muffin and that she wants to come see him all the time and spend time with him, but that is painful for me to watch. Itâs hard because Iâm so happy Muffin has MDâs grandma, she is a lovely lady, but I wish he could have known mine. That wound will never heal no matter how much time goes by. I will always feel the sorrow that my Gramma tried so hard to be here for Muffinâs birth, but that she just couldnât quite make it.

2 weeks. She missed him by 2 weeks. That thought will kill me for the rest of my life.

The missing my Gramma gets a little better as time goes on. I feel almost like Iâve come late to the grieving party because I kinda blocked all this out so I could focus on Muffin and myself and the birth. I put it all away and now itâs slowly drifting out, like a thick smoke I keep getting lost in.

***
Muffins birth was traumatic for me for a few reasons, and Iâm still trying to process through all of that too. My medical care was awful during a time when I needed to be taken care of. Iâm starting to let some of that go, but itâs hard and I canât say it hasnât put a bitter taste in my mouth. That bitter taste upsets me because Iâd like to be able to remember his birth without it, but I canât. Itâs a part of his story, my story, the story, so itâs still there.

Iâm also coping with having a c-section. I donât feel like less of a mother, or that I âfailedâ in some way, Iâm just a little disappointed that I didnât get to experience what natural childbirth felt like. I wanted that experience. And if I choose someday to have another baby, I probably will have another c-section, so I wonât ever get to experience it naturally.

***
It has helped to have such a wonderful baby. I fall in love with him more and more everyday, I canât even believe it. The moments I get to share with him everyday help so much in getting over everything else. He has made me feel a peace that allows me to work through whatever else is going on.

Heâs getting bigger everyday, that makes me so proud of him, but a little sad too. I donât want my little baby to get bigger! I feel like Iâve hardly had him any time at all, but I feel like Iâve had him forever too. He has no idea what heâs done for me, and heâs only 3 weeks old. I donât know if heâll ever understand what his birth has meant to me and everyone really. I hope he has some idea of how special he is, how much love was waiting to greet him when he finally got here, how much hope heâs given.

Iâll just have to tell him every chance I get : )

Lucky me <3

Days go by

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Mon, 29 Sep 08 22:40:00 UT

I got nothing done today. I had planned to work more on my class and get some cleaning done, but Muffin had other plans. He was a little fussy today and I think he's going through a growth spurt because he ate like every hour and a half today. Even with Mommie and I trading him off, I got very little done.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

We gave Muffin his first bath today and Mommie took a few pictures. He really seemed to enjoy being naked, and he loved the warm water on him. He was very good in the tub, but a little pissed off when I took him out and wrapped him in his towel.

He smells so fresh and clean, I love it. He was still fussy afer his bath so I brought him downstairs and rocked, and rocked, and rocked him until he fell asleep. Hopefully he will rest for a little bit because he didn't sleep much at all during the day today.

I know he was tired this afternoon, but he kept fighting going to sleep. He'd almost be out and then he'd force his eyes back open. I think he's afraid he's going to miss something :)

He's growing so fast and getting so big I can hardly believe it. I look at the pictures of him when he was in the hospital, or when we first brought him home, and I can't believe how much he's already changed. I cherish every moment because it goes too fast, way too fast.

I'm feeling better and better every day and that is a very good thing. I'm still trying to take it easy, and I've lightened up on myself as far as worrying when I don't get everything done that I feel I should. I don't want to look back on this time and remember the worry and not all the wonderful little moments I've had with my son.

Like I said, tomorrow is another day. Maybe I'll get more done, but if not, there are plenty of other days afer that.

Still transitioning

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Wed, 24 Sep 08 14:30:00 UT

I feel like I have a lot to say, but I don't know how to say any of it.

Giving birth was a pretty traumatic experience for me, and it's taking some time to process the whole thing.

Muffin is still doing great. He's a little fussy today, I think it has to do with some gas problems. He keeps trying to squeeze out some poop, but that seems to be a little difficult for him. I gave him some gas drops (those things are my best friend) and I hope he can get his poopies out.

He's on a pretty regular schedule at night, and that is wonderful. He's still working on a schedule for daytime, but that's a little easier to work around.

I've been able to get some of my transcription class done, but I look at all I have yet to do and I know I have a long way to go. I feel very frustrated right now. I know that's probably normal, but it doesn't make it any easier.

On a surprising note, the blood pressure medicine that I'm taking now does actually make me feel better. I haven't checked the pressure at Walmart yet, but I'm curious to see what it is. I'll have to remember to do that the next time MD and I are out.

I think I over did it on Monday because I slept all day yesterday. I didn't think I was doing that much, and I felt pretty good, but I guess that's how it sneaks up on you. I feel much better after resting yesterday and I'm trying to find a balance between what needs to be done and what I'm capable of doing.

I love being a mother. It is the most wonderful thing I have ever felt in my entire life. I don't know what I did to be so lucky, but I cherish every moment I spend with my son. I am perfectly happy sitting with him all day long. I know I can't do that all day every day, but I would if I could.

MD has been great with Muffin, I knew he would be. I don't think there is any way to express how pleased that makes me. My son has a good father, and I can't think of a much better gift I could have given him. I look at the three of us now and realize that we are a family, that thought still blows my mind a little.

I'm still in the transitional period, and I know things will settle down and the frustration will ease a bit.
For now I'm just trying to do the best I can and hope that it's enough.

Worry later

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Mon, 22 Sep 08 11:23:00 UT

If I had known the amount of harassment I would have to endure after giving birth to my son, I would have done it at home.

The "lactation consultant" has been calling me to talk to me and I have not been answering my phone. First of all, when I was admitted to the hospital they asked me if I wanted to see a lactation consultant. I told them no. After I give birth, guess who comes walking into my recovery room! Yup, Boob Nazi. Now why would they ask me if I wanted to see her if they didnât care what my answer was?

Anyway, she came to check on me quite a few times during my stay in the hospital, and I firmly believe that she has no idea what sheâs talking about. I was hoping that when I left the hospital I wouldnât have to worry about her anymore, but now sheâs calling me to âcheck how the baby is doingâ.

I have a few problems with this. Number one, I do not like this woman. My general policy is to not talk to people I donât like. Number two, like I said, I donât think she has any idea what sheâs talking about. Number three, I donât understand why she thinks that my son or I are any of her business. Sheâs not my doctor, I didnât ask for any of her advice, and I donât care what she has to say. I donât know if she thinks that because she happens to work in the hospital where my son was delivered that it gives her a right to poke her nose in my business, but that is not the case.

Her messages have been getting ruder and ruder. The message I got today, she says her name, rattles off her number and then hangs up. Iâm hoping that this is a sign that sheâs ready to give up, but I will not underestimate the Boob Nazi. My paperwork very clearly stated that I did not want to talk to her and she poked her nose in anyway, so it may be a long time before I can fully get rid of her, but get rid of her I will.

The breast feeding is going really well, I havenât had any problems so far, and even if I did, she would be the last one I called to ask for help.

Mommie said I should change my voicemail message. Maybe I should say âHi, if youâre the Boob Nazi you might as well hang up now because I donât ever plan on talking to you or calling you back. Everyone else, leave a message.â

Maybe then sheâll get a hint.

**

I think I caught what MD had earlier this week. I really donât want to be sick right now, I have too much stuff to do. But, I donât really have a choice. I just hope that Muffin doesnât get whatever it is that I have. I really donât want my baby to be sick. His nose is a little runny, and heâs been sneezing a lot, but his appetite is really good and he seems to be fine otherwise. Hopefully it stays that way.

I love taking care of him, but itâs overwhelming too. Iâm trying to get into a little routine with his schedule and mine. I think that might make me feel better. I started working on my transcription class again today, I really need to get it done. I feel bad that I didnât get more done before he was born. I just feel like I could have done more, or I should have done more. I guess thatâs part of being a parent, you never feel like what you do is good enough.

MD and I are starting to feel the pinch financially. I donât want to be out of work much longer even though I know itâs been less than two weeks since Muffin was born. I just donât want to see everything that we have worked for fall down around us. I know it will take some time to finish the transcription class, so Iâm seriously thinking about calling the hotel and seeing if I can come back to work on a part time basis. I feel useless in helping MD support our family, and I wish there was more that I could do to help him. All the pressure is on him to support us and I donât think thatâs fair. He doesnât want me to go back to work, and he made me promise today that I wouldnât call the hotel, but if things continue this way for much longer, thatâs what Iâll have to do.

It would break my heart to leave Muffin and go to work, but at the same time I have a responsibility to this family, and Iâll do whatever I need to do to make sure that we are okay.

I think everything is hitting me all at once now that we are both home and settled in. Hopefully things quiet down a bit once we get everything worked out. I know Iâll feel better once I finish my class, so Iâll focus on that for now and worry about tomorrow later.

More doctors

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Sat, 20 Sep 08 11:40:00 UT

So, Muffin had his doctors appointment yesterday and he's doing really well. He's gained 7oz since monday, so he's up to 7lbs, 9oz. He's getting very chubley :)

He was wonderful yesterday when MD and I took him to the doctors. He did so good that we ran a couple of other errands while we were out. He loves being in the car, and I am very happy about that. He was wiped out when we got home and he slept for most of the rest of the day. I figured since he did so much sleeping during the day that he would be up all night, but he wasn't. He woke up twice to eat and then went right back to sleep. I love him, he's wonderful.

I've been trying to establish the difference between night and day for him. I know he's still really little, but I figure he's not too little to distinguish between the two. So far it's working out great. At night when he gets up I don't turn the lights on, I keep it dark. After he eats, I rock him right back to sleep. I don't talk to him or play with him (even though it is so tempting to do so) I just feed him and put him to sleep. During the day while I feed him I talk to him, afterwords I play with him and we sit and watch tv or just hang out. I think he really does understand that nightime is for sleeping because that's just what he does.

He is already cooing and making other noises. The doctor gave me a list of milestones to look for in his development, and he's already ahead in some areas. I am a very proud mommie.

MD is feeling a little under the weather so I'm making him split pea soup. I've never had it, but he said he really likes it so I thought I'd give it a try. I hate peas. I mean really hate peas, but so far the soup smells really good so we'll see how the tasting goes when it's done.

I had a doctors appointment yesterday too, and they said my blood pressure was still high. They doubled my dose of the new medication they have me on even though I've been on it for less than a week. They told me I needed to find a primary care physician, but that is proving to be very difficult. The PCP that medicaid assigned me does not accept medicaid patients. Does someone want to explain to me how THAT is supposed to work. The doctors office called five other PCP's and they all either do not accept medicaid, or are not accepting new patients. I don't know how to feel about this. I don't fully believe there is a problem with my blood pressure aside from the fact that the people at the OB's office do not know how to take one. I know that high bp can be very dangerous and I don't really want to go without it being checked, but I can't seem to find a doctors office I can get into to have it checked. So, I'll take the medication they tell me to and hope I don't have a stroke.

When I got the medicaid I was relieved. It's the first time I've had medical insurance since I turned 18 and my father was not legally obligated to continue providing it for me. I thought to myself that I would finally be able to be taken care of, but that has not been the case. Even with insurance I can't get medical care. This makes me very sad. I guess I'll just have to wait until I have a stroke and then MD and Mommie can sue for malpractice or something.

Being a mommie

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Tue, 16 Sep 08 16:03:00 UT

I love being a mom, and I'm surprised how naturally I've taken to it. I was always a little uncomfortable around other peoples babies but I haven't felt any of that hesitation with my own son. The bond between mother and child is so amazing to me.

I'd read and herd while I was pregnant that you can instinctually tell what your baby needs when it cries, but I wasn't sure I quite believed it. Now I know it's true. I can tell when he has gas, or is hungry, or is just tired and fussy. I know when he wants to be held, or when he's okay to lay by himself.

It's easy to tell when he is hungry, which is often. He's starting to get on a semi-regular eating schedule, and that is great for me. Last night was a little rough. He had slept all day long while we went to our doctors appointments. He was an angel, he didn't make a peep at all until we got home. He nursed for just a bit and then went back to sleep. After all that I had a feeling he would be a little fussy last night and I was right. He kept waking up every 30 or 45 min. to nurse and then go back to sleep. He was only nursing for about 20min though, so he woke up frequently.

After last night I was really tired, but he slept pretty good this afternoon so I was able to take a little nap. Mommie has offered to watch him for a little bit this evening so that MD and I can get out for a bit together. I thought that was really sweet. So, we'll probably go get some dinner and stop by target. I want to go look at what Halloween decorations they have and costumes too. I'm hoping to find a monkey costume for Muffin.

Eventually I will get around to writing about my labor and delivery, but I just don't have the energy to relive that quite yet. It was hard for me to go through, although well worth the effort. I guess I'm still decompressing from the whole thing. I think it will take me a little bit of time to order the events in my head before I can write about it.

I'm feeling better and I'm glad to have my staples out. I still can't wait until all the pain is gone and I feel normal again. I think that has been the most frustrating thing about being home and trying to get settled in. There is so much I want to do, but I have to limit myself and take it easy.

But I am taking it easy, and I'm enjoying this time. I know Muffin will grow way too fast and I'll look back on these days most of all.

I'm back

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Mon, 15 Sep 08 09:36:00 UT

Well, the little bugger just didn't want to be born, but we got him out anyway.

The delivery was rough, but it was so worth it.

Nothing really went like I expected it to, but in the end I got what I went for...a little Muffin!!!

I know Mommie has posted the details and some pictures, we have lots more pictures and I'm planning on downloading some of mine today. It's hard to make plans with a little baby that runs your life, but we'll see how it goes.

He is a wonderful baby. He's not fussy, he sleeps good, he eats good. I feel so lucky. I can't imagine what I would have done if he wasn't so good. He sleeps so good at night. He woke up only twice last night to eat and there was no fussing. He was all business, he wanted his food and then to go back to sleep. I'm totally okay with that.

He looks just like MD, he has the same shaped head and little chin. He does have my eyes and a bit of my nose, even though I think his nose looks more like his Noni's than mine or MD's.

I'm still in some pain, but I go today to have my staples removed and I know that will help a bit. They are starting to itch and pinch when I move. I'm not too sore most of the day, just when I first get up in the morning, and as long as I move around pretty good durning the day, I feel okay.

I have been taking it easy, as hard as that has been, because I know if I don't I'll feel icky for longer. I want to feel better so I can get into a better routine and move on with everything. The only way to do that is to take it slow and take care of myself.

Mommie has been wonderful (of course) helping to take care of me and Muffin. Muffin really loves his Noni. She sings to him and tells him stories and he just looks and looks at her. Last night she was holding him and singing him "you are my sunshine", when she got to the "sunshine" part he took a huge poop right in her hands. It was so funny I almost busted a staple laughing. Noni said she won't sing that song again unless he's constipated. :)

MD has been wonderful too. He and Muffin already have their special little bond going on and I love to see it. MD is so calm, he doesn't get frustrated with Muffin or angry when he fusses(the little bit that he has), he's been right there to help me with whatever I needed. He had to go back to work today, but he still took Muffin for a few hours last night so I could get some sleep. I will never be able to say how much it means to me that he is such a good dad. MD and I both had crappy dads, and I am so happy to have broked that cycle.

Going through this whole process has been amazing. I'm not changed, but I know I'm not the same. I love being Muffin's momma.

The love and support I've recieved has meant so much to me. All of you here on JS, people that I work with, family and friends, I couldn't have done even half of this without it. It does take a village to raise a child, and Muffin has a mighty fine village behind him. I have all of you to thank for that. :)

We're coming to get you!!

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Tue, 9 Sep 08 18:42:00 UT

Tomorrow I go into labor, whether Muffin likes it or not. I told him about a week ago that if he didn't come out on his own, we were coming to get him. Well, he didn't come out, so in we go to get him out :)

I don't know if he'll actually be born tomorrow, but the process will be started. I am so excited!!!!

I'm a little scared too, but way more excited than anything else.

So, I'll go to the hospital first thing in the morning and get everything started. It's nice to have it scheduled because I can make all my phonecalls and get everything prepared tonight.

I don't know what it will feel like to have my labor induced, but I'll be finding out pretty soon. :)

My bag is packed, everyone is very excited, and I probably won't get any sleep tonight.

I'm hoping by this time tomorrow I will be holding my son.

I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HIM!!!!!!!!!

Any time now

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Tue, 9 Sep 08 11:51:00 UT

Still no Muffin. I had my NST this morning and I didn't have one. single. contraction. Not one. Little bugger's got himself all snuggled in up there.

I have my doctors appointment this afternoon. If I don't go into labor before that, they will schedule an induction for later in the week.

I had a few good contractions last night, but it was all for naught. Maybe he was just testing to see if I was ready. If that's the case I have one thing to say to him:

OF COURSE I'M READY. ANY TIME NOW WOULD BE OKAY WITH ME!

Maybe now he'll get the message. :)

It's funny, he reminds me of myself and he's not even born yet. I have a very strong feeling that I am going to have my hands full with him.

I cannot wait.

Thinking fall

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Mon, 8 Sep 08 12:21:00 UT

Another day, and still no Muffin. He sure is taking his time at this point.

The weather has been a little cooler lately and that is a good thing. I can't wait until fall really comes in. Fall is my very favorite season, I love everything about it. I love the way the air smells, and the temperatures, I love the color of the leaves and the crispness in the air.

My favorite holiday is Halloween and I get so excited when the stores start putting out the Halloween stuff. I love to look at the decorations and the costumes. MD and I will sometimes go to just look at all the stuff.

The only thing that dissapoints me is that we don't get any trick-or-treaters at our house. Most of the people that live in our complex take their little monsters to Walmart or the mall for the trick-or-treating they have there.

I can understand why, it's much safer to go to the mall and walk to all the stores, inside, in the light, to pick up candy, but I think it takes away from some of the fun too.

I know Muffin will still be very tiny when Halloween comes around this year, but I plan to dress him in a little costume and go up to the mall to watch all the other little kids trick-or-treat. I love to see the little costumes and how excited the kids are. After that maybe we'll come home and watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. That is one of my all time favorite movies. MD and I just bought it on blue ray and I'm so happy we did. We didn't have a chance to pick up the 10th anniversary edition when it came out, so all we had was the original vhs tape. Talk about old school :)

I'm so excited for Muffin to get here (and I know I'm not the only one) and I have so many things I want to do with him. I hope he hurries up already!

I love food

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Sat, 6 Sep 08 17:20:00 UT

Mommie made bread today. I love it when she makes bread, she is so good at it. I know it's labor intensive to make bread from scratch, and I have never tried to do it myself. I do let Mommie make it for me whenever she wants though. :)

She also made beef stew which smells so good. I haven't tried any yet, but we'll all be eating when MD gets home from work in just a little bit.

Food is one of my favorite things in the whole world, and I'm thinking maybe that has something to do with my struggles with weight. I haven't worried about my weight too much while pregnant. I didn't want to gain that much because of the hypertension, and I've gained about 20 lbs total, which is about 30 lbs less than I thought I was going to.

I've been thinking about after Muffin is born (if he ever decides to come out of there) that I would like to lose some of my excess weight and be healthier. I adopted a healthier eating routine while I've been pregnant. I didn't set out to eat better, and I've put no concious effort into doing it, it just seemed to happen on its own. I drink a ton of water now and I never used to touch the stuff. I also crave fresh things. I've always eaten a lot of vegetables, but I've been eating fruit too. I never used to eat fruit unless it was in ice cream maybe :)

I guess my point is that I like the way I feel when I eat better things, and being pregnant has actually shown me what I should be eating all on its own. I think that part is pretty cool.

I also want to eat well because I hope to breastfeed and I want Muffin to get the best possible nutrients he can while I'm doing so.

And I think I'd like to be more active in general too. MD has expressed an interest in joining a local gym, he gets a really good discount through work, and I might actually join him. He said that they have baby/mommy yoga classes and free daycare for their members. If MD is going on down there, there is no reason that Muffin and I couldn't go too, especially with the free daycare.

Food is wonderful, I love it. Being pregnant has shown me how to love it in a better way than I have been and I'm surprised and happy about that. I guess my goal for now is to continue the healthy practices I've adopted while pregnant even after Muffin is born.

And maybe take a walk or two :)

Today

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Fri, 5 Sep 08 21:28:00 UT

It rained all day today and I haven't felt that great.

The NST this morning went well and the doctors appointment did too. If you want any more info check Mommie's blog, it's the first link at the top. We're keeping most of the info private.

Mommie made delicious enchiladas for dinner and they were so yummy!

Having Ters here has been so great. It's so nice to be surrounded by my family that loves me and is so excited about Muffin.

Any day now...

we'll keep you all posted :)

The seventh circle of hell

ladyofthedragons@gmail.com — Thu, 4 Sep 08 17:51:00 UT

I have the bestest Mommie ever.

Lets start at the beginning. My brother arrived today for a little visiting. I am so happy to see him. It's been about a year since I have. So, he made it here this afternoon and after he got settled in, I asked him what he wanted for dinner.

He said he wanted beef stroganoff, which is fine, but I wanted to know if he wanted something fancier or better. He said he wanted beef stroganoff because the only place he could get it was with me or Mommie. No one else makes it like us :)

I love my brother.

So, Mommie and I headed to the Seventh Circle of Hell (Walmart) to pick up the stuff. There were a lot of people there shopping. Mommie and I were picking up canned mushrooms and a woman and her daughter passed us with their cart. The woman actually hit me with the cart, and she just kept going. Didn't look back. Didn't apologize. Just kept doing her shopping. I told Mommie what happend, and does anyone want to guess what happend next?

Well, I won't make you guess, I'll tell you.

Mommie chased that woman down into the next isle. She went up to the woman and said "Excuse me Ma'am, you just hit my 9 months pregnant daughter with your cart."

The woman turned around and yelled "No I did not!"

Mommie told her "Yes you did, and I don't appreciate it."

The woman told Mommie that her daughter just had a baby and she didn't hit me. Well, she said that maybe she hit my purse on the way by, but she didn't hit me.

I looked at her and said "Yes, you hit me."

The woman continued to yell that she did not. Mommie told her "Okay, apology accepted." and we turned and left.

A simple, I'm sorry would have sufficed, but I don't really care if she apologized or not. I told Mommie that everyone within earshot of her big mouth knows she hit me.

Mommie wasn't rude, or mean when she went up to the woman, she respectfully let her know that there was a minor problem and the woman lost in in the middle of the isle in a public place.

Mommie apologized to me for the outburst, but I wasn't upset with her. I am so sick of people who have no manners and no courtesy. I was happy that for once someone was confronted with their inappropriate behavior.

I don't know if that woman got the message, but I don't really care, I feel better and that's all that matters.

So, now Mommie is cooking and we're visiting.

And of course, we're still waiting for Muffin. He's been moving around quite a bit and I haven't had any more contractions.

Muffins due date is tomorrow, so we'll see what happens. I'm very excited, Mommie is very excited, MD is very excited, and my brother is very excited too.
:)