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...nothing here is promised, not one day... Lin-Manuel Miranda


Oh wow, i'm oooooold
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No, this isn't about "Paul McCartney's band before Wings" or even black dial phones, transistor radios, walking to school, uphill both ways, in the snow, wearing only a skirt. It's not about going on dates, or when I first learned that there was more than one kind of lettuce. It's about "didn't I useta?"

Didn't I useta have energy? I did, I know I did. From getting up at the crack of before dawn to drive to Livermore for a demo, to getting up before the crack of dawn to help get out the vote, to hanging out at a convention singing teenage death songs at the stroke of very early in the morning. Just (relatively) recently, Working several shifts at Convention Ops base radio, chairing a convention (and all the fun of that, including hotel meetings, developing program, convincing lovely people to do stuff), I had it.

I've attended at least 75 conventions, working on many of them, getting limited sleep. I got through 4 years of college and a year and a half of graduate school (and I never pulled an all-nighter. NOT that I was so prepared, just that I know what works for me.) I know I could and I'm pretty resigned to knowing I can't now.

But whoo boy. Yesterday, in less than 2 hours, Suzanne The Amazing Cleaning Person did enough work in the second bedroom that I can now a) get books from most of the bookcases in the room whilst using my wheels; and b) cleared paths so I can get to the chest of drawers AND the laptop table that I acquired to replace the computer desk. In about an hour and a half.

Yes, much of the hold-up is that I cannot, physically, do much of what others can do (we're most of us getting older and not doing what we used to do) but I couldn't even estimate how long it was going to take. With very few questions too, once I told Suzanne what I hoped for, she did it. Poof. And I can now start using the room for what it should be used for, I hope. And this should help my shoulder and upper back, using the laptop on a surfacethat is a proper height.

All of this was going to come together, yes, but it just did, just like that. I couldn't believe it and tried not to tear up when I was able to go in last night and findfour different books. (I couldn't decide which one I wanted to reread.)

I could do this once, right?


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