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Jody
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5days out of 7

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A week off work and 5 days out of 7 shes angry again,
i did all the cleaning/washing this break to see if that would improve her mood but still not till the last two days was she happy.
i took her out to dinner one night to the boab, thn she got angry beacuse i was sticking up for zak, maizys(ex) boyfriend, i dont think hes a bad bloke and for her to go on about him like that was uncalled for, and aparently i was standing up or my exs too beacuse they are good ex's.
in a peranting sort of way, they dont stop me from seeing my kids they agree to me seeing my kids they dont mind paying for somthing from the child support i pay. all in all i am lucky to have good mothers for my kids.

on saturday we took the dogs for a walk at bayswater and xena pinned down another dog that was on a lead getting all angry at bear, xena has been a bit nausty latey toward other dogs on leads too, not sure what we will do only a matter of time before she hurts another dog and we get her put down and us in trouble. shes a good dog i l love her, i just wish she could understand what it means if she keeps it up. bear still runs off and does his own thing which can be annoying bacuse then xena follows. i wonder somtimes if cat ever feeds them while i am at work when i am home she never remembers or askes, often.

after we got home i said to cat to go to the shops and illl watch logan, she went and just as she was on her way home she felt sick so she slept for a few hours while i cleaned and played destiny.

worst part about everything is we are about to buy our second house(you idiot chance, RUN) we fight about the same stuff all the time and it feels like nothing gets sorted. the last few weeks home have been okay but i feel its only like that beaucse i do all that i can around the house while she is back at work ful time,
i feel bad that logan is at daycare while i am home and i miss him soo much. im not a baby person though as harsh as it sounds i do love having him around i just know when im home and so is cat normal i am the one looking after him.
Cat will get home give him to me and start dinner, if i havt made it already.

i think its a bad idea to be buying a second house espicaly beaucse i feel like i dont have a say in anything anymore. i feel trapped.
i keep telling her im upset it gets me nowhere. im thinking i need to go back on anti-depresents maybe that will help me out. i stoped taking them when i was 18 i wasnt ment to but i did. i keep thinking i should just ring someone or talk to someone but when it comes down to it i cant. i cant seam to ask for help from anyone other then my wife but she just ignors it.

the house will cost us 550,000 and the bank has only just approved us now we are waiting on one more approval then its all go and itll be like this forever.
i cant leave her i dont want to miss another child growing up and logan and i have this bond, i havnt been angry at him once since he was born over 6months ago.
he's too cute.



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