"some poems dont rhyme." ~ gilda radner ( i do believe...)

ahhh , all better... the break was great, thanks... and i must say, while i was sitting on that just ever so shapely white bowl, that this journal thing is quite nice. i feel very relieved now ( and not just because i took a poo!)... glad to have a place to vent , which i suppose means that i wont explode at this , erm , friend of mine anytime soon.

anywho.

lately i have been noticing some pretty profound things about my friends. sence i am sure that i will forget them as soon as i am cracking up with them in school , im going to write them down here. so if your bored , then leave. but if your intruiged , then just go on ahead.. keep scrollin...

1. lots of people in our school are , by definition , hoes. they want to have sex , they have sex , and then they have a whole lotta drama. its not very fun for me , sence i dont have sex... dont want to to have sex ... and hate hate hate hate hate w/ a passion any sort of drama. its not me. and i am so sick of all of my friends coming up to me , and crying and complaining about guys or girls that made them miserable after they * gasp* dumped them after a week a good ol' mack. i dont understand! you know you'll cry , so why bother?? my friends say that i am & i quote...
"too fun , too funny , & too confident for a guy."
this is a theory that i also dont understand. yeah , i am fun . as in i like to go out , and be crazy and loud , or i like to hang out and just sit around. either way , its good clean fun. the funny thing? i dont know... i think im just honest. but the confident thing? eh , really dont get it. yeah , i am confident. i am happy being what ever i am. i am happy to be short and i am happy to have a butt and i am happy to have a weird optemistic view of life. fact~ i am happy to be single. they knwo it too. but they always try to hook me up with people . PUBLIC SERVICE ANOUNCEMENT~
I AM NOT YOU! i dont need a boy friend to make me feel vulnerable, dumb, and sad. i WANT a boy friend who will make me feel happier, who will make me feel like i am floating when ever i am with him. i want him to make me laugh , and to make me think. and when he kisses me , i want it to be special ,our own little seal of friendship and giggle-ness. i DO NOT want just a piece of flesh that looks good in his little wannna be punk crap from hot-topic. i do not want to swap spit with every chick in our school by association. so i prefer to wait. not becuase i dont believe in love or what ever , but because i belive that when you have love, it wont make you cry, hurt, or depressed. instead , i beive that is the way that you feel when you watch some one you truly love kiss someone else. and thats how you know when its
"true love"
you dont know it from the kiss , or from the way he looks at you. you just feel it , with out the physical crap , and thats the way it should be, eh?

erm , ok.. have wasted way to much time on that topic. lets move on.

2. my friend and my me seem to be the only people to realize what is really going on with some of our friends.
example. we have a friend , who around everybody else seems sweet , fun , and nice. around us , she talks about who she "hates" all the time , she mopes around , and she cries and stuff. you know , real emotion? i dont understand it. nobody else ever sees that side of her. she craves attention , and works so hard to impress people. she is the most insecure person i have ever met , and her life , basically , revolves around guys. i dont understand it. its weird , almost all of my friends are like that. even my dude freinds. around people of the oppisite sex , they go into total reverse... and it sorta freaks me out. isnt the littel cliche thing that you always want people to love you for who you are? well , then show them who you are , why dont ya? and then MAYBE you wont have to complain to me about why no one understands you. let them have a look into your little half empty brain... maybe they'll see something they actually like...

3. looks do matter. but only for girls.
i hate hate hate this one... buts way too true. the so called "hot chicks" have guy friends... boy friends... and best friends and everything. but the poeple whoare nt quite that cute , cant even find a friend , of any sex. i guess that i am an exception. i have guy friends and best friends , and i am no where near as cute as most of em... but this gives me such a great window to look through. guys dont really talk to girls that arent all cute and flirty and stuff. i dont flirt because (most)the guys in this little homogenus cow-town that i live in are just...eh , but i have fun with guys , so they talk to me. but my friends who are sorta normal looking but really pretty in a super natural way, barely get a glance in their direction cause they dont stick out their butts or straighten their hair or wear shirts half way to their nipples and then stick them in guys faces. sometimes we give guys too much credit. why should they bother to see whats beneathe the skin when they have something that looks good and they dont have to think at all?? anywho... this is sad , but i guess really true.

& 4. i have homewirk. so im going to go read shakespear. maybe next time ill stop venting and actually tell you about my day or something. right now , im just catching up.
later