So there's a monkey in Israel (Israel!) that is now walking exclusively on two legs after a near-death experience. No. Really.

A young monkey at an Israeli zoo has started walking on its hind legs only, like humans, after a near death experience.

Natasha, a 5-year-old black macaque at the Safari Park near Tel Aviv, was diagnosed with severe stomach flu with three other monkeys and slipped into critical condition two weeks ago, CRIENGLISH.com reported Thursday.

After intensive treatment, her condition stabilized. But to everyone's surprise, when she was released from the clinic, she began walking upright like a human.

Her veterinarian says the only possible explanation is that the monkey suffered brain damage from the illness.

The "only" explanation? Far from the only explanation, it's not even the most logical.

It is painfully obvious that this monkey, after experiencing the cold kiss of death itself, turned itself from the glorious light of Monkey Heaven to return to our world FOR A PURPOSE. And this happened in the Holy Land! The signs couldn't be clearer.

This monkey is very obviously a percursor to the Second Coming. She has risen up on her hind legs to open the eyes of sinners and unbelievers, and to guide humanity into a glorious new era, heralding the return of the Messiah and His new reign on earth, the coming of peace and harmony, and the end of the petty squabbles and stupid cruelty of man.

Just goes to show how much those stupid veterinarians know.