A couple of days ago, someone sent me a message entitled "A Wonderful Message by George Carlin". It was pithy and feel-good, and I was immediately skeptical that it was actually written by George Carlin. The fact that a Jesus fish was appended to the e-mail was also strange...Carlin is an avowed atheist.

So here's the message:

> A wonderful Message by George Carlin:
>
>
>
> The paradox of our time in history is that we have
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> taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider
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> freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
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> but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have
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> bigger houses and smaller families, more
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> conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
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> but less sense! , more knowledge, but less judgment,
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> more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but
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> less wellness.
>
>
>
> We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too
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> recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get
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> too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read
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> too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
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> We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our
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> values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate
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> too often.
>
>
>
> We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
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> We've added years to life not life to years. We've
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> been all the way to the moon and back, but have
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> trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
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> We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've
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> done larger things, but not better things.
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> We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
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> We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We
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> write m! ore, but learn less. We plan more, but
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> accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to
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> wait. We build more computers to hold more
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> information, to produce more copies than ever, but
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> we communicate less and less.
>
>
>
> These are the times of fast foods and slow
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> digestion, big men and small character, steep
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> profits and shallow relationships. These are the
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> days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier
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> houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick
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> trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
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> night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do
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> everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a
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> time when there is much in the showroom window and
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> nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can
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> bring this letter to you, and a time when you can
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> choose either to share this insight, or to just hit
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> delete.
>
>
>
> Remember, spend some time! with your loved
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> ones,because they are not going to be around
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> forever.
>
>
>
> Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
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> you in awe, because that little person soon will
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> grow up and leave your side.
>
>
>
> Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
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> because that is the only treasure you can give with
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> your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
>
>
>
> Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and
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> your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and
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> an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep
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> inside of you.
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>
>
> Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for
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> someday that person will not be there again.
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> Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time
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> to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
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>
>
> AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
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> Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
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> take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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> If you don't send this to at least 8 people....
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> who cares?
>
> George Carlin

Does this really sound like the same guy who said this?

I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.

But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to.

...

And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was. In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!

Of course, that was from an act five years ago. I guess George could have had a change of heart...