Journal of Lies
Untruths, half-truths,
and lies of omission



So, a parakeet walks into a garage...
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I was doing housework all morning, taking out the trash, mopping, vacuuming, etc, and putting up some new blinds in our second bedroom.

The garage door had been open all morning while I made all kinds of trips through it.

When I went in to get some tools, I noticed a small parakeet walking around, and when he saw me, he marched right into a big pile of junk in one of the corners of the garage.

He was a beautiful little bird, with a red face and chest, green head and body, graduating to a bright blue tail. And he didn't seem scared, though he wasn't going to let me get close. He was just walking around, and then looking at me, and I looked at him.

I wasn't sure what to do at first, so I started slowly and carefully moving stuff out of the corner, to see if he was injured or of something was wrong. He jumped onto an electrical extension cord I have plugged up, and was just sitting there, though as I moved something out of the way, he'd move up the cord to another place where he was behind something.

I decided to try and lure him out with some Kiwis I had, so I cut up a few pieces and put a few on a path to the open door. No luck there.

After 20 minute or so, I started moving stuff out of the way, but positioning things so that if he moved again, it wouldn't be further into a pile of junk, but more towards the door.

He finally jumped onto a workbench by the door. I put a slice of Kiwi near him, and put the rest just outside the door.

I waited for a while, but then I had to go, because my wife wanted to see Revenge of the Sith. So I left the door open and took off. I noticed he was closing his eyes, like he was going to go to sleep there.

When I came back later, he was gone, and some of the Kiwi was eaten and moved around.

I can only hope he left, and isn't somewhere still in my garage. I'd hate to find him later.

Overall, I think watching the bird would have been a better use of my time.


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