it breaks my heart that he is so far away. and that i know its final. i just wish so much it wasnt. i just want to cry so much. i can't even think of words to explain the way my bady feels as if it was blown apart. its such a physical feeling. i guess thats why they call it a "broken heart" because i sincerely feels as though i am broken. i am plagued by thoughts and memories that i cannot stop from entering my mind or the shattered pieces of my heart. i just cant imagine being with out his kiss or seeing his smile. god, how am i gonna get orgasms now? my vibrators can only take so much abuse! i try to make jokes and laugh, but its so hard to laugh because of the weight that is crushing my chest stealing my air and holding me down. part of me wants to fling this weight as far away as possible, the other part wants desparetly to cling to it, in a twisted way to hold on to something real and so close to him.

-kln-


I can't hold on very long. I give up, I'm letting go, theres no one to catch me, you were the only one.

"We could leave this town and run forever. Let your waves crash down on me and take me away. There's a piece of you thats here with me its everywhere I go, its everything I see. When I sleep I dream and it gets me by. I can make believe that you're here tonight"

"we'll be together for one more night, somewhere, somehow."

"We turn our music down and we whisper, say what your thinking right now, tell me what you thought about when you were gone and so alone. The worst is over you can have the best of me. We got older but we're still young, we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up."