everyone's entitled to my opinion
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Visit the MESSAGE BOARDS Where everyone knows how sleep-deprived you are |
 Short crime musical with armed thugs in drag |
 Short screen opera about God, with funny parts |
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Father of twins and novelist/filmmaker/musician
in New York on the
Upper Upper Upper Upper
Upper West Side.
People complain about musicals.
Nobody just stops in the street
I say you know the wrong people.
They say:
and breaks into song.
The helper
No, I do not help out with my babies.
I'm too sleep-deprived to be tactful about it, so when various women (always women) ask if I help out, I keep my mouth shut and do not say:
[Best of the Blog]
I'm too sleep-deprived to be tactful about it, so when various women (always women) ask if I help out, I keep my mouth shut and do not say:
- No, goddammit, I'm not a helper. I'm their father.
- Actually, yes. My wife's still got tendonitis from the pregnancy, so she can't get the gin bottle open by herself.
- I'm more of a personal trainer. When she starts feeling overwhelmed, I scream at her to get her hormones pumping again.
- Yeah, I suspend them by the ankles while my wife hoses them down with seltzer. It's a system.
- No way. Anything involving feces is women's work.
- Hold this baby a minute while I smack you.
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