First and not unexpected, I received a terse yet cordial "no thanks" regarding the magazine submission. Well, that was embarrassingly quick. But I'm not too heart-broken. Perhaps I should save it for its personal historic value? Our family friend who's had dozens of books published speaks to children's groups and shows them the stack of 200+ rejections she's received over her career. An e-mail stack doesn't really have the same humbling impact, and humility is a virtue (so is authentic self-assurance, but that's another post), so perhaps I should print them out, or start submitting by snail mail.

Second and unexpected, the editors of the preaching journal that's featured a couple of my sermons asked me yesterday to write "the big article" for an upcoming issue. I'm glad for the opportunity, I like writing for them, and the guidelines are general enough to allow me to do a number of different things with the piece. And if'n I ever go for The Degree, it can't hurt, right? Especially since one of the editors who extended this invitation is connected to one of the programs I would be interested in.

But I'm also a little freaked, because I was looking at a recent issue and thinking, "It'll be a long time before they ask me to do one of those articles; that's where the heavy hitters are." And I'm no heavy hitter. This is NOT a fishing expedition for compliments and reassurance, so don't even go there!!!! I'm really not in these other people's league, so I don't know what the editors are up to, unless they're going for the "young'un in ministry" angle. Or they think I'm capable of doing something that I intuitively know I'm not. Or I'm capable of it but my intuitive self is saying to pass on it for reasons of time. Or maybe the time thing is a convenient smokescreen for the real issue, which is fear of trying something new, fear of blowing it in front of my friends, many of whom read this same journal.

See, I have this intuitive voice, who's wise and helps me figure out what's mine to do and what's not, and I trust her. This voice has helped me say no to things that would have been fun and good experiences, but just weren't the right thing. Then there's the inner critic, the one who says I suck, who has an uncanny ability to mimic the intuitive voice to a T. So I can't sometimes tell them apart.