College can be awesome and suck-fest at the same time.

It can awesome because you get to see the most amazing dance show ever for free.
Because yeah, Paul Taylor Dance Company visited last night.
I was utterly blown away. There are no words to describe it. The music, the movement, the strength, the emotion...oh my god. I actually had chills. You could really see the stories. The dancers were amazing, all the grace and strength and...just wow. Look them up and you might have an idea as to what I am talking about.
I feel really thankful to Wells for bringing the Company and allowing me to have such an amazing experience watching it.
The performance will live in my mind forever.

College is also awesome because I feel like I am really learning, like my mind is being opened and things finally make sense. Reading my education homework for instance. This guy Dewey that wrote this thing in like 1897 just kind of blasted me and I totally agreed with everything he wrote. He was radical back then and is radical now, over a hundred-and-ten years later. But it made sense. It was all about how schools don't really prepare you for real life, that education from stem from the home, that science should be added to better help control and add to experiences, not be new ones, that teachers should not preach but simply help direct the interests that a child naturally has...and oh my god. It was amazing. I should put the link up if I can find it. It rocked my socks.


However college is a suck fest because some people are assholes.

Sara and I are done. She found this blog apparently and sent me an email yesterday saying "We need to talk". So I found her and she's all "If you're going to keep running away from me write about me on a public blog that your family reads then we can't be friends anymore. You did it in the fall and you did it now." I just said "Okay" and left.
Well here it is, we are not friends and good fucking riddance. This is a thing I've been writing on for over four years now. I'll say what I damn want. I need somewhere to express myself and JS has been here for me. It has kept me sane. Y'all are my family and I trust you so of course I'm going to say what I feel.
I am a non-confrontational person in reality and this is my way of getting my inside feelings out. Yes, I have a constant war with it but hell if I'm going to acquiesce to her over my blog. How bullshit is that?
Anyway yesterday I was raging and I called my mom and we talked for like forty minutes and I told her what went down. I told her the reason why Sara was triggering my upchuck impulse and that wasn't even all of it.
I've realized that she is probably one of the worst people I have ever been involved with. If I ever do become friends with her again please come and beat me. I know mom will at least.
I refuse to be involved anymore. I am not her mother. I am not her friend. I refuse to go through this shit.
The only complex thing, again, is that we share almost all of our friends. If it means that I have to find a new group I will because I am not going near her again.
My blunder was the fact that I held in what I felt. For that I am at fault. But it is the way I am. My mom uses this as a tool to better understand me, because she knows I cannot voice things. This is my aspie-ness. This is my confrontation. This is what I cannot say. I didn't even state the real reason why I am upset with her this time either. In the fall I wrote it up after everything went down, after I had my mental freak out, after I had already told my mom, meaning that I was sane and as right in the head as I could muster myself to be and when my mom already knew the details. So fuck that shit. People should look at dates sometimes, you know? I don't get ticked off over stuff that happens in the past. I might be disturbed but what will anger bring me? It has already happened.
So I will stand strong to her. I will let my stubborn goat-ness come out, I will sharpen my horns, I will stare at her with my oval eyes and I will snort. M-m-mhaa(<---goat noise).
And with that I am done.

My mood improved by talking to mom and reading homework and chillin' with my roomie and seeing Paul Taylor(still floored). I won't let that stuff bring me down. It is why I ignore it and block it and then cut it off entirely. It does me no good.
Besides, there are so much better things to focus on in life.

I get off work soon so I better go.
Peace.
~Lo