Bee tee dubs.

By the way.

I think I may have a real and feasible crush starting for the first time in what feels like a while.

Oh my god.

It's the second day that I've been talking to this guy. We met out on the front lawn under the Sycamore yesterday. We were both watching the sunset on the lake and I was reading when he comes up and decides to say hi. We ended up talking until sundown and I started to get pretty cold. But it was a REALLY great talk. Afterward I came in my room and thought "Okay I might have a crush starting. This guy is intelligent and just holy crap awesome." We just talked about everything from nature to high school to the self to society and time just vanished.

I believe in the theory of relativity. Paraphrased from Einstein, When your hand is on the hot stove (coffee cup for me yesterday) time goes on forever even if it is a second. If you are sitting on the park bench with someone you fancy then times does not go on long enough and the hours feel like a mere blink of the eyes.

Well today I happened to tell myself "I don't want to read in my room. Maybe I'll go in the library. Nah, I'll go on the front lawn" *brain saying 'no, I'm not really going out there for him'*
Well I had barely gotten set up on the ground with notebook and reading and look up behind me and there he is. We just smile at each other "Fancy seeing you here." He sits down and we talk until the sun has barely the faintest tint of orange in the black and it has been getting a bit cold.
He is just....awesome.
I feel BIG DORK possible bad crush setting in.
I dunno even how to describe it.
But I really really like him even as a friend. It was just instantaneously comfortable to be around him.
Oh and a plus, not that it really matters all that much, he's dark chocolate, average height, has a small little beard and these dark brown eyes that look amazing as the sun casts her fading light in them.
I dunno. It's farkin' freaky but this guy is like my ideal man the more I think about it....HE EVEN LIVES ON MY FLOOR right now!!!!!!!!

Who can say if anything will "happen" but gawd....I mean just writing this up it doesn't even sound real.
Oh and he beat Mohamed's "Hello my blonde haired angel" already on the second day. "
You speak like an angel" (I inwardly died).
I could listen to him talk for days.
Ugh...man...like wow.
I mean it's not even physical necessarily though he fits that, but mentally....
I am screwed.
This guy rocks and it's hitting me slowly on the heart like the pendulum of a clock starting slow and then swinging on and on.

So yes, I have um...I don't even know if I can call it a crush...it feels like something comfortably and contentedly beyond that, like whatever will be will be, I'm just happy to be near you.

Maybe this is too much...but Franky is kind of saying it right now.

If You Are But a Dream
by
Frank Sinatra

If you are but a dream
I hope I never waken,
It's more than I could bear
To find that I'm forsaken.

If you're a fantasy
Then I'm content to be
In love with lovely you,
And pray my dream comes true.

I long to kiss you
But I would not dare,
I'm so a-fraid that
You may vanish in the air,

So darling,
If our romance would break up,
I hope I never wake up,
If you are but a dream.

Peace.
~Lo