I realize I have yet to do my 2008 reflection...

Well it started with me in a library essentially...pulling cards and learning how to shelve. In the personal front I was e-dating the fakest persona ever while attempting but ultimately failing in a friendship with Sara. Spring semester was interesting. For the first half of it I was mostly reclusive. The third roommate moved out and we acquired another essentially in Guy. Bi, my best senior friend, was in the room weekly for a massage. I finally began emerging and made pretty good friends with the Ninja club despite being a pirate. Vicci also randomly chose me as her best friend forever and we started hanging out regularly. My roommate and I finally started to get to know each other and died laughing every day. There was the first Men's Odd/Even that was rather intense. There was May Day which was freakin' cold being in a white dress and dancing bare foot on cold grass while swinging around a May pole. There were some good movie nights and great times and some moments of "Holy crap too much information!" Sometimes I felt like my head was being "crushed between two really...big...things. I was going to say elephant butts but elephant butts are squishy...I think." But comedy makes it fun. Art class was really nice as were most classes. Sociology changed some of my perceptions and was definitely a good class, as well as my education course. The semester came to an end with Junior Stunt which had most of us dying laughing and many water balloons flying. Saying good bye to my sisters for the summer was pretty hard. I had one last walk down to the lake with Guy and then my freshman year was over.

The summer went on. I spent most of it working in the library where I had done my internship. I learned a lot but ultimately really disliked some of the people I worked with. Days were very rainy and hot and it felt as though summer never really came. I spent a lot of time reading and hiding in doors talking to people on the internet....because I am a loser face. Things went nicer in August and then time spun away on me. There was some strange re-encounter with John that crashed and burned but most likely for the best. He is happy now, as am I.

Fall semester started and I think I fell in love for about two weeks with a person I could have sworn walked straight out of my dreams but was actually very very strange and left the school. I turned in to a reclusive hermit that decidedly became mopey and sad-ish and felt somewhat lost. Basically I was out of touch and semi-freaking out but not really. I'd like to say my anti-social autistic side took control of me rather.
For some reason Mo and I tried hooking up again but that ultimately failed for the betterment of both of us most likely. He semi-killed me with some of his words later though I can't remember what they were, only that it was the end. He would remain a fond memory of friendship and a small introduction in to what real romance could feel like. But romantic love needs a fire and that we were without.
I read a lot and did my best yet with my GPA despite freaking out a lot.
My worst freak about a class was the one I ended up with an A+ in that I still kind of feel I don't deserve. I did not put as much in to it as I felt I could have that would have made me worthy of that grade. I scraped by Spanish with a B- because despite being terrible at quizzes I had comprehension and enthusiasm I think. Men and Masculinities was a strange class. Once again, class participation is no big deal for me but it was not quite the class I thought it would be and thus I did not vibe the best and the final kind of killed me. The class that kept me afloat was my Self-Defense course as I developed new confidence in the capabilities of my body that for so long I had perceived as mostly weak with only the desire to be stronger. Hiking helped with the body strength as well. I remembered how good it is.
Oh and OBAMA!!! I had a crazy mo fuggin' happy attack, running and screaming and crazy with the rest of campus.

As the semester developed as did my friendship with my e-friend Benjamin. He initiated conversation and we grew from there. Sometimes I really want to stick my hand through the cables connecting us and slap him but most of the conversations were good. I went back home for break and we started to realize that our feelings for each other ran deeper than that of mere friendship. For me the realization of this was after a day of not talking for twenty-four hours purposely and then waiting there online at the exact hour we could finally talk again. He kept me up until 5am for fear that his appendix might explode, leading us in to some in depth conversation where I vaguely remember the material but more strongly the feelings. I finally went to sleep. I woke up thinking that the rawness we had shown each other might mean the end of us as I have found happens sometimes...but it was only the beginning. His appendix had not exploded...he had just drank way too much coffee. We haven't gone another 24hrs since without talking. Well you know that deal now...We kind of just started declaring our love for one another suddenly and that was it.

It has been an interesting 2008 and 2009 promises to be just as beguiling.

That's it.
Peace.
~Lo