Yesterday...was a very strange day. I only had two hours of sleep after writing a paper all night and was in this almost hyper aware of everything state.

I actually stayed awake the entire day and very awake feeling but had a strong compulsive want to cuddling with someone warm and squishy. It didn't happen but it makes me realize that I want a cuddle-friend for those times when I just want someone warm next to me, when my craving for skin almost kills me. Completely platonic minded and all...I just want touch. It isn't even that my hormones are raging with lust...I just want the comfort feeling.

I had a very almost sensuous moment washing my hands. I was suddenly aware of how good it felt and how luxurious it was with the foam and the warm water and folding my hands one over top of each other and the pressure of my muscles. I washed my hands very slowly just enjoying the fact that I was enjoying washing my hands so much for the first time.

I took a walk by myself after dinner. It was really nice to just enjoy the spring. I realized how long it had been since I had walked, much less walked by myself. I felt very still, as though the currents and winds constantly tossing my waters had stopped and my surface was as smooth as pressed glass, like with the lightest touch would would be able to see the ripple. I was just in my senses, in my eyes, my ears, my skin, my nose. It reminded me that I was alive, that I am living in this body. It was very nice and the beauty around me was just so lovely with the soft colors of a spring afternoon that are slowly growing to bright again.

Once back I sat in my room until rep council started. After that I went back and settled until I feel in to a deep sleep. My body was and is still sore from Monday's self-defense class. Vicci called me and I was barely aware of having a short conversation with her before being like "Uh...me sleepy now." I think I was half-mumbling the whole day despite how alert I felt.

Now today I actually am VERY tired, more so than yesterday after 9hrs sleep. Life is strange...

I feel like I am almost in the right time to start creative writing again. I have ideas but I need the time. I need to set aside more me-time for straight creative writing....maybe I won't feel so pissed/unmotivated about writing essays then.

OOoh, Guy and Sammy poked me because they say I am never in the room lately....they never leave the building...I am busy and I feel the need to break out lately, change my environment a bit and stay fresh. It's nice. It allows me to see people too.

Oh and I gave a massage yesterday. My friend Sam comes to me when her back kills. She went to a chiropractor even and was like "Err....I need Lo...." I feel good when my friends come to me for my hands. I like doing it. I should advertise my services again and see if there is anyone out there that can actually do it back. I need work on my shoulders and dare I say my back. I need a squishy.
Haha.

Okay, I have class...then dinner...then ass whooping and then homework and sleepy time hopefully. If I can get to bed by 10-11 again that would freaking rock.

Adios.
Peace.
~Lo