Whooooooot!
Traditions weekend. Hell yes.
Hell no. Too much homework. Grr, professors.

It's been fun anyway. Yesterday I was happy the whole day. They had music in the dining hall and I was cracking up watching Paul belt out the lyrics to "Man, I feel like a Woman" by Shania Twain. My friends Mary and Kathleen joined me in singing along to "Super Freak" by Rick James. Fuuuuun times. I was dancing as I grabbed my food, showing my mad plate balancing skills.
I've been having a extremely giggly series of weeks. I almost shot milk in my friend's face because as I was taking a drink she just went "I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!" She kills me and then I look at my other friend who just has the most hilarious facial expressions at what we are doing and I end in terrible laughing fits. People often have to remind me to breathe (which makes me laugh MORE!). It's great to be this happy even amongst the stress of classes. I enjoy the fact that when I am happy I feel it passionately, that when I laugh it's all or nothing. Why not feel with all of you? I haven't been this smiley since it was love-induced (and truthfully that kind is just annoying because underneath I feel like a retard. This joy is pure and whole and clear). It feels good.

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I figured out the stare that I do in self-defense that drives my instructors crazy, finally. It is indignant, dead eyed, emotionless stare. It's the blank stare. The "oh please, is that all you've got?" look. I'm pretty sure it drives my instructor nuts because even when he is trying hard for a reaction from me I continue to stare like this and am completely silent. Most people will give something. I may as well be falling asleep even when I'm bent up and immobile. Really want to taunt someone even when you're losing anyway? Yeah, just use that expression. Apparently I'm pro.

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If my SD instructor wants to see me scared he can come to my swim class. This past week we had to swim across a width of the deep end, no noodle or anything. Waiting to go my body pretty much froze up like a rock.
However for reassurance, the lifeguard (who's last name is Dick by the way) says "Don't worry, me and my Mr. Tubey Thing will save you." At that point I leveled him with a look of "Are. you. serious? 'Mr. Tubey Thingy'?"
Then the instructor offers encouragement by saying "It's like jumping off a cliff, you just have to do it." Me: -blink blink- "Jumping off a cliff is one of my biggest fears." "Uh...um. Forget I said that then."
I managed to get across even though my body was half-shaking from it. The whole "Don't panic" thing is really hard to master at certain points even with all logic in your head saying it's ok. The second time across was a little better. I panicked a little but resorted to doggy paddle and then fell back in to the rythem of freestyle arms (amazing that I did even that; my body is already remembering it is faster and easier) and kept my eyes dead locked on the opposite side. My head said "fuck this 'face in the water' shit, get to the other side and keep your nostrils above the water, damn it." Ack.
At least I did it. I'll get better.
TK5K is in the same boat as me with the fear. He can laugh it off but when he was going across he kept getting water in his mouth which is pretty much the surest way to make yourself freak out when swimming in deep water already scares you. Poor guy. He's totally chill and smiley all the other times. I completely commiserate with him.
As a class we are pretty supportive of each other which is nice.

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Odd/Even was fun last night. Not as fun as the past years but fun all the same. I love being on the front line doing "boo" fingers and screaming until I can't talk. I love the face offs between the two sides and the rivalry. I love our guys getting in to. I love to see the outfits people make. I love the circling up, the sweaty love. It is just good times.
Tonight is the true do-or-die. The basketball game epicness. Talk about excitement. Hells freaking yeah.

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Guy didn't end up making it this weekend. Due to the transportation confusion and all she bailed on us. She has also been refusing all contact which is just a bit infuriating. Her isolation modes set off my angry-mama mode. At least five people have tried to get in contact with her and she hasn't picked up. It's a bummer because Sammy and I really wanted to see her. Uggle buggle fuggle....

Oh and talk about awkward: I'm getting out of the shower yesterday, half blind and in my robe and I feel this hand rest on my shoulder and this tall dark guy come in the bathroom.
"Hey, Loey."
"Uh, hi?"
"You putting me off?"
"Um....I can't see your face from down here." I put on my glasses. "Oh, hey Tony!"
....Tony. Yeah. Sorta-crush of last year that always had Sammy and I going "WTF?" or laughing. Seriously though, of course I have to see him IN THE BATHROOM as I'm getting out of the shower!!! Awkward. We had a three minute conversation before I scooted out to go get some clothes on. This school just naturally seems to have people have random conversations in strange places at strange times. Eeeesh.

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Anyhoo homework time for me.
Adios.
Peace.
~Lo