Your Favorite Annoying Teen

I don't really embrace my body.
I like my body
but I've never worked it in the ways "they"
say you "should."

I am sexual being.
I have an academic interest in sex AND I have a very "sexy" body.
I have big boobs, curvy hips, a big ass, a narrow waist,
full lips
longer legs.
All of these things are sexy.
All of these things should give me power.
Inherently sexual power is part of who I am.

But seldom do I ever embrace it.
I'm not one to post selfies,
to do boob shots,
to ever let my naked body surface somewhere on the internet
or in a digital file period.
I wear clothes which flatter my curves
but don't go beyond it.

I don't want to be viewed that way.

I don't want to be objectified.

I don't like that thought of the kind of power it gives me over other people, that somehow by shaking my tits at someone I can get what I want.

I prefer brute strength,
the force of my mind
My voice
My leadership skills
My ability to be wise and logical
to be empathetic and organized.
To be fun.

There are more IMPORTANT things to me
than my body.

It is only as I feel these are weakened
in which I question them
that I feel a degradation in my body to begin with.

For the first time in a long time I haven't felt comfortable in my skin
Not just in a "don't sexualize me unless I fucking invite you to" way
but as in I feel "fat" and flawed and ugly and that shit is wrong with me.
Because my mind isn't happy
because I've questioned my voice
my leadership
my wisdom, my logic, my empathy, my fun.
My ability to be a good friend.

It is these things where I find my strength, my beauty, my sexiness, my power.
My body is a weak compliment.
I need to know you love my mind,
that I love my mind,
that I am proving myself to myself.

And honestly?
I feel like I've been failing.

Your Favorite Annoying Teen Life in the Making
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Previous Entry :: Next Entry Mood: the weakest compliment you can give me Read/Post Comments (0) Share on Facebook A summery of Your Favorite Annoying T... Hello, I am YFAT or Lo. I have been writing/around on Journal Scape for over a decade now. Time flies! This journal chronicles my random thoughts, high moments and sometimes low, throughout high school, college, and now beyond, into the world of "adulthood", whatever that means. Sinerely, ~Lo		2014-10-11 10:20 PM This Isn't About My Body I don't really embrace my body. I like my body but I've never worked it in the ways "they" say you "should." I am sexual being. I have an academic interest in sex AND I have a very "sexy" body. I have big boobs, curvy hips, a big ass, a narrow waist, full lips longer legs. All of these things are sexy. All of these things should give me power. Inherently sexual power is part of who I am. But seldom do I ever embrace it. I'm not one to post selfies, to do boob shots, to ever let my naked body surface somewhere on the internet or in a digital file period. I wear clothes which flatter my curves but don't go beyond it. I don't want to be viewed that way. I don't want to be objectified. I don't like that thought of the kind of power it gives me over other people, that somehow by shaking my tits at someone I can get what I want. I prefer brute strength, the force of my mind My voice My leadership skills My ability to be wise and logical to be empathetic and organized. To be fun. There are more IMPORTANT things to me than my body. It is only as I feel these are weakened in which I question them that I feel a degradation in my body to begin with. For the first time in a long time I haven't felt comfortable in my skin Not just in a "don't sexualize me unless I fucking invite you to" way but as in I feel "fat" and flawed and ugly and that shit is wrong with me. Because my mind isn't happy because I've questioned my voice my leadership my wisdom, my logic, my empathy, my fun. My ability to be a good friend. It is these things where I find my strength, my beauty, my sexiness, my power. My body is a weak compliment. I need to know you love my mind, that I love my mind, that I am proving myself to myself. And honestly? I feel like I've been failing. Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top