~from Jill
Nine months ago my family moved to Florida from California. My husband drove a 17 ft. U- Haul with our best friend across the states, with everything we thought we needed to start a new life. We hoped we’d finally be able to buy a home, maybe even have a backyard for our sons to play in. We went through several hurricanes, tropical storms, and geckos at the dinner table (yes, it’s true). I found the adjustment to be harder than I thought, and struggled to get up in the mornings and face the humidity. A friend suggested I try a cup of coffee at Starbucks. I had always been a tea drinker, never touched the stuff before, but soon realized that the tall vanilla latte had just what I needed to get through the days.

My trips there became weekly, then daily (who knew coffee was addicting? . .) After a few months of this, it occurred to me that no one ever spoke my name or knew what I was going to order, yet I heard customers in front of me asked, “the usual?” One morning I cried walking out the glass door. I called and told a friend, “I’m invisible here, they don’t even know my name at Starbucks.”

I discovered Bookcrossing around this time, and was amazed at the warm welcome I received from virtual friends. One BCer wrote,“I’m waving at you from Florida,” and I could actually picture the hand, and was invited to virtual “tea” at one of the ongoing coffee shops in Chit Chat. Soon I began registering books and releasing them. I did a few book trades through the mail, and received a few RABCKS (random acts of bookcrossing kindness). I chit-chatted in the forums, met some friendly book-lovers, and built friendships.

Letting go has been the hardest thing for me to do, and I have usually done it only when forced too, or desperate. However, I found that after giving away at least half of what I owned, I felt lighter, and realized how little I needed to survive. The thought occurred to me that this might not be a bad way to live life. I pictured (or tried to) all the books I’d read and loved over the years, books given to me first by my parents with their handwriting inside, how they had kindled and nurtured a love of reading in me, and how that was something I carried despite the physical presence of the books themselves. I used to think I had to hold on very tightly to things that I loved, that saving the books I read would somehow keep the experience of reading them more alive. It know now that isn’t true.

Putting a bookcrossing label in a book represents a hope, I think, that someone’s life may be touched. Out of 46 books released, I’ve had only one catch to date. I know the rest of them are out there though, hopefully in the hands of other readers, maybe even coffee drinkers, or people who are feeling displaced. You’re not alone, the little BC sticker says. Other readers have held me, read and found something worthwhile in my pages.

This morning, for the first time, the guy behind the counter at Starbucks said my name, and asked if I was going to have the usual. These simple words brought me so much joy, and I realized this: just because I was not directly acknowledged before did not mean that I was invisible. The acts of kindness we do for others, even unseen or unacknowledged, are not invisible. They are the acts of someone with a special kind of bravery, a person who is willing to do something generous whether or not they can see an end result. A person who is willing, for that moment, to be invisible.

~Jill