~from Ami

I am hiding no more.

Today marks the first time I've ever attended a conference and not hidden in the bathroom. Go, me! I'm writing this from the Embassy Suites in Oklahoma City, where a conference I've dreaded has turned into a much needed drink of water for my drying writer's soul.

Cheesy as that sounds.

I worked a 44-hour week, a hard week where I didn't even have the energy to eat dinner when I went home, took my son Tuesday to Tulsa to see the fabulous Blast! musical, and worked on an upcoming article for Oklahoma Today. I would have cherished a quiet weekend at home. But, instead, OWFI loomed. I owe the Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc. my literary first-born, because it was here in 2002 that I met an editor from Avalon Books who ultimately published my debut mystery. But I was tired. I had laundry to do. A green pool to clean up. Grass to mow. Dishes to wash. Floors to sweep. Poems to write. Meals to cook.

But.

I woke at 5:30 am on a Saturday morning and drove 2 1/2 hours in the pouring rain to Oklahoma City. I was sick when I got here, late, registering and finding out I was scheduled to pitch a book to a New York agent in a mere five minutes. Yikes. No breakfast except a Kashi Go Lean bar at 7am. This is my exceedingly glamorous life, yes.

But. The agent turned out to be very interested in my social worker series (Dying On Tulsa Time. Good title? Yes? No? I made it up on my way down here for my poor, title-less manuscript.), I attended a couple sessions with New Mexico's energetic poet Judyth Hill and basically reaffirmed the fact that I was put on this earth To Write. Talked shop with a few other writers and realized...I Am Not Alone.

Sorry for the all caps.

Writing is so lonely, my friends. And sometimes, I get angry about the time and money spent away from my family and my home. (Where is my son right now? Coming home from Tri-State Band Competition in Enid? At home? What will he eat for dinner?) But I realize that I have been given a gift. I can bury it and resent its presence here, or nurture it, send it out into the world on a prayer. What's the right choice? What's the hard choice? Sometimes you take the hard road because your feet are accustomed to the rocks.

Tips for shy people attending conferences:

*Sit in the front, you're less likely to be reticent about asking questions of the speaker

*DON'T wear a watch. This is a great conversation starter for the chatting-challenged. "Um, hi. What time do you have?" I'm SERIOUS! It's an ice breaker!

*Carry around your book. People WILL ask about it

*When riding the elevator, make eye contact and ask other riders what they're working on

Weekend's not over. Banquet tonight, research at the Queen Anne Cafeteria in Oklahoma City tomorrow, speaking at my first book club in Blanchard tomorrow afternoon.

I'm tired. But my writing life rolls on, my pen is resting easier in my hand. I ate soup at Panera Bread today, while the windows fogged with damp weather and scores of authors talked about Books, Poetry, and Meaning around me...and realized...I won't hide again.