*WARNING! PROFESSIONAL ASSHOLE! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!*

I was on my way home from a court in an outlying village the other day and I got in behind a State Trooper. The speed limit was 55, but he was doing about 65. Since he did not have his flashers on I figured he couldn't complain if I maintained the same speed.

So I followed him for about five miles until we came to a red light where he signalled left and I was headed straight. Well there was a fair amount of traffic coming the other way from a factory that was letting out, so I pulled around him on the right and went on my merrisome. Or so I thought

Next thing I know he turns on his flashers and pulls me over. And I'm thinking, 'What is this guy doing? He can't ticket me for speeding. I was following him."
So I roll down my window, and say "What'd I do wrong?"

And he told me, "You can't pull around me on the right like that. You have to let me make the turn and the go straight."

And I looked at him like he was from Mars and said, "I have never heard of such thing."

He said, "Traffic Code Section blah blah blah. The right lane was for right turns only."

And I said, "We were both in the middle of the intersection, the right lane ended before the intersection, and there was nothing indicating that the right lane was for right turns only anyway."

He said, "There was a right arrow in the lane and you can't pass me like that. It's a violation."

And I said, "I pass people like that every day. I see other people pass other people like that every day. I've never heard of anyone getting a ticket for section blah, blah, blah. There is snow on the road, I didn't see any right arrow. No judge in his right mind would convict for this."

He said, "What are you, a lawyer?" I did the eyebrow thing at my suit and said, "Yep."

He said, "License and registration please. License and registration please!" So I passed the documents. He went back to his car and then returned about 30 seconds or so later. "I was only going to give you a warning," he told me and passed back my papers without a ticket.

So, good enough. I drove off. I guess this guy must have had time on his hands though, because instead of going back to the intersection and making his turn he just follows me. For about half a minute, I made like a rabbit and drove fifty-five. Then I thought to myself, "Fuck it. Obviously he's got some time on his hands and I don't need to be anywhere anyway." So I slowed down to about forty-five and drove at that speed for the next five or six miles until I hit the highway.

In retrospect, I'm not certain that I really helped my cause any by arguing with him, but it was fun.