Here is an excerpt from Neal Stephenson's "System of the World". Set in the early 1700s in England, this is a conversation that takes place between an African named "Dappa" who speaks twenty-five languages and is a brilliant writer, and "Peer", the pen name for a seemingly vacuous member of the House of Lords. Peer has decided to explain the present political situation to Dappa in terms that he thinks are appropriate for Dappa's African mind. Also in the conversation is "Roger Comstock", a major player in the Parliment.

"Well, Dappa, you may not be aware that we Englishmen dwell on something very much like the sandbars you used to see in your rivers, save ours is much larger, and free of crocodiles"--- He held up a sketch.

"We call it an island," said [Roger] helpfully.

"There is a great river of cold, salty water," Peer said, holding his arms far apart, "ever so much broader than the distance between my book and my pencil, separating us from a place called Europe which is full of nasty apes. In your system of mental ideas, you might liken it to a lot of monkey bands who are forever screeching and throwing rocks at each other."

"But sometimes we cross the salty river on things like hollow logs, except much larger," said [Roger], now getting into the spirit of things, "and throw a few rocks of our own , just to stay in practice!" He winked at Dappa, who gave back a brooding stare.

"There is a frightfully enormous and strong old gorilla, a silverback, of whom we are terrified, just over the river."

Dappa sighed, sensing that there was no way out. "I think I've seen his image on French coins. He is called Leroy [Louis XIV]."

"Yes! He owns more bananas than anyone else, has more apes in his tribe, and has thrown a lot of rocks at us."

"That must be very painful indeed," Dappa said, not very sympathetically.

"Yes quite," said Peer. "But we have a might silver-back of our own, a really stupendous and deadly accurate stone-thrower, who, some moons ago, chased Leroy right up a tree! Because of this, our little band, here on our sandbar in the salty river, cannot make out whether to worship and revere our silver-back as a god, or fear and revile him as a devil. Now, we have an enormous clearing in the jungle, actually not far from where we are right now, where we convene to make obesiance to a certain female silver-back, rather frail -- and where we beat our chests and throw faeces at each other."

"Ugh! Until you told me that, I was about to say, I should like to see more of this clearing."

"Yes, it is rather frightful," Roger put in, dismayed by Peer's similtude, "but we have found throwing faeces preferable to throwing rocks."

"Do you throw your faeces, my Lord Wragby? Dappa asked.

"It is what I do for a living!" answered Peer, shaking his note-book, "and what you see here is the Instrument I use to scrape my Ammunition off the jungle floor."

"May I ask, what is special about this female silver-back, that you should brave flying faecal material to pay homage to her?"

"She holds our stick of power," Peer answered, as if that settled it.

I'll end there. In the book, more follows along the same vein, but it is more plot specific.

The late 1700s and early 1800s were part of the transition between a period when people settled disputes by duels or fights, and using political or legal means instead. In other words, a transition between rock throwing and faeces throwing. In the earlier period might made right, and it was felt that God or the Gods would favor the correct combatant. People fought and the outcome of the battle was seen as an extension of the will of higher powers. Now, we fight using words instead of arms, faeces instead of stones. We justify our outcomes based upon our faith in the power of reason and logic. It's a step forward one would think. In the end it comes down to the same thing though: combatants with specific goals in mind using every tool at their disposal to gain advantage over their opponents.

"Esquire" is a term from the latin that is somewhere between a gentlemen and a knight. Some feel that lawyers take on airs by using a term that makes them sound somehow better than those around them. I think it is perfectly suitable though. We are exactly somewhere between a gentleman and a knight, stepping into the courtroom field of battle and throwing faeces instead of stones. I do a lot of faeces throwing in my job, and I get a lot faeces thrown at me. I'm not a great faeces thrower, as evinced by my present position as a public interest attorney (aka hedge knight), but as a result of having spent so much time in the court room, I know something of how to put together a decent ball of shit, and how to lob with a bit more accuracy than the average monkey.