Originally started on 3/15/06 and left private.

In my immediate family there are lawyers, accountants, engineers, musicians, social workers, writers, researchers, mechanics, and clergy people. In addition we have our fair share of lunatics.

What we don't have is a criminal. I have decided that my newest nephew needs to fill this unforgivable gap in the family professional roundup. We need a criminal and Michael will have to step up to the plate and fill that role.

I am therefore going to take it upon myself to make certain that Michael receives the background necessary to fill this role. Typically, a childhood background of abuse and neglect are good prerequisites for the criminal mind. Unfortunately, neither of Michael's parents are capable of providing that for him. Therefore the first step in Michael's proper education will be to introduce him to someone who can add this element to his life. Of course I happen to the know the perfect person for this task. I am confident that time with this individual will sufficiently traumatize Michael so as to induce a later need to commit acts of evil upon the public at large.

As Michael grows older, I will need to get him to start smoking and drinking at an early age. Probably about six. The smoking will increase his activity level and create problems for him in school