So today I have a case where my client's child had a very slight black eye. A barely noticable shiner that the other side tried to make a big issue out of and suggest was related to some sort of fault on the part of my client. So I had pictures of it, and I had seen the child in my office within a day of the incident.

In court out pops the following wonderful statement that I spent the day eating, "Judge, I have pictures, and that black eye was no worse than the eye shadow you are wearing."

Um. Yeah. I'm smooth. Real smooth.