Job stress has been on my mind lately. An attorney I know had to be hospitalized recently because the stress and anxiety had gotten to him. He was a pretty decent attorney, but he always a bit shaky. I've heard that he went in to solo practice because he had a break down at the law firm he had worked at.

One of my co-workers was recently described by office staff as "getting a bit wigged out" recently. She is a very bright woman, who I think was valedictorian of her graduating class (a small graduating class though) and went to an Ivy league law school. She isn't the sort of person who would get shaky like the attorney I mentioned, but she might be more inclined to yell a bit more and do stupid things like drink and do drugs.

A judge I work with quite frequently also may be letting stress get to him. He's been starting court late a lot, and many of his cases have been rescheduled recently. No one on his staff is talking though.

The work is stressful because it involves so many uncertainties and has such a large impact on people's lives, and because of the time pressures. I've had two clients lose their parental rights this year after trials, and in each case I've wondered if there was more I could have done to prevent it. I have an uncoming sex abuse case, and I can see the possibilities for very clear defenses, and I wonder if I can put the pieces together right. I've had people go to jail, and I've walked away thinking that if I had phrased one sentence differently, it could have gone their way.

From a judge's standpoint, it must be even worse. I, at least, have a clear role. I'm my client's advocate. I don't decide whether my client is right. I just push as hard for them as I can. A few weeks ago, I was in front of a judge, and he made the wrong call. It was bad enough that I'm almost certain I will win on appeal. Everything a judge does is subject to scrutiny. I could tell moments after he issued his ruling that he was questioning himself. The next day I was in front of him, and he ruled in my favor on a case that he probably shouldn't have. I could almost see the thinking in his head - *That Brainsalad is a bright guy, and yesterday I screwed up by not listening to him.* Afterwards, the other attorney was like "I don't understand what he was thinking." He hadn't been there the day before, and it wasn't my job to enlighten him.

Over the years, I've gotten used to stress, although I've haven't eliminated it. It's like an old leg injury that I've learned to compensate for. When I first started doing this work, I gained 40 lbs as I ate away my anxiety. I've learned now that I need to keep work and home separate, and that exercise is important for keeping my head clear. I find a good novel to read or an immersing computer game to play. Something to take me away from where I am.

The stress level at work isn't any higher for me than at other times. In fact, a few recent wins have boosted my self confidence a bit, so that I'm not second guessing myself so often. Having so many colleagues with problems recently just brought it out.