My mother has just entered a nursing home, and I visited her there. It was disgusting. I could smell that one of the other tenants had shit themselves and beyond that there was this very weird smell about everything. Mom's condition has really deteriorated quickly in the past two years. Even a year ago, she still needed some help, but she could do some things on her own. Now she can't even walk, even using a walker. She can talk, but just barely.

It's strange because three of my siblings worked in that nursing home at one time, and we know a fair number of people from high school who work there now. I know it's not a great place, but we have people who will watch out for her. I think some it, the shit smell and the old people muttering to themselves, would be found in any nursing home.

When my body and mind are failing as much my mother, I'm going to just starve myself to death. I've gone for days without food in the past. It shouldn't be a problem. I won't have 12 children and 19 grandchildren worrying about me anyway.