I have been editing some Tivo recordings today and I have questions:

-----WHY ARE MOVIE CREDITS SO DAMN LONG?-----

...and what exactly IS a Chief Grip or a Boom Fluffer-Upperer (ok, so I made that up).

If John Smith is "Mr Damon's Dresser" then what does
"Mr Smith's Assistant" do?
...help out when they encounter those button holes which are just that bit too small to accomodate the button, maybe?

I need answers...seriously! what does it all mean and why is it there?

Of course, I realise it is done to 'acknowledge the input'
(aka 'stroke the ego') of everyone and anyone involved in the movie...but then, why can't I get MY name on the list?

...Maybe I could be listed as "Cinema Goer#158426".

Ok - this is getting silly, but really, it could be much simpler:

a - Tell me if Colin Farrell's in it
b - Tell me the exact location of where it was filmed (in case I want to go on vacation)
c - Tell me the names and artists of the all songs

Easy - done!...onto the next one.