I cannot believe it. Because of the generosity of many - many of you included! - W. and I are heading with 15 students across the pond to Paris. The students who are in town will meet us at 10:45 am at our house on campus and we'll take a lovely university van to the airport where we will meet the others. Then we are off, back on the 22nd!

This week has been filled with much anxiety - about everything. We had graduation last weekend, so it was my first time out of the gate to do the liturgy and such for baccalaureate and prayers at the graduation, and folks seemed pleased. I made a lot of stupid "you'd think I'd never written liturgy before" mistakes, but we did a very cool blessing of the graduates at the end of bacc. that I highly recommend. I asked two students, two faculty, two staff and the president to all offer blessings of health, friends, career, their connection to the school, etc... at the end and it was quite meaningful. However, the other stuff was just rather ok, so it will be good to have something to strive for next year.

So once graduation was over, it was time to put my anxiety about this trip into two things:
1. Leaving A. (another post)
2. Footwear.

Actually, I can add a third which was fundraising, but we got some good donations in this week and we are expecting to meet our goal!!!

But back to the footwear.

Ever since I had A. I have had trouble finding shoes. I used to be a clean size 7, now I'm somewhere betweeen a 7 and 7 and a half.

I have tried on - I kid you not - 50 pairs of tennis shoes and countless other kinds trying to find some that will do, since my other tennies are too short now. This week, my search took me to new heights when I was in larger town an hour away at 9 pm two days ago trying on yet another pair of shoes.

I finally bought three - one pair of tennis/cross trainers by Nike (I swear I tried everything else, but they were the only ones that came close to fitting in both the heel and the toe! I added to their evil empire...may God forgive me) and two other shoes by Clark that are made for walking.

And I spent more on these three pair of shoes than I have on anything other than insurance in a long time.

I put on the black walking/slip ons today, and within two hours I have a blister forming on the back of both heels. Damn shoes! Now the ethical question - do I take them back even though I wore them outside? I'm tempted, and my checking account would love me for it.

I then put on the pair of coral weird sandals/tennis shoes things (don't they sound pretty?) and wore them the rest of the day. I was planning on taking them back, but I think they are a winner. Yeah, I know, coral? But if it doesn't actually go with anything, I'm hoping it goes with everything. My student worker said it made me look outdoorsy and nature-girl - I snorted with laughter because that is about the last thing I am. However, nice cushion, etc., so we'll see.

What was surprising to me, though, was the amount of energy and attention I paid to these shoes - the amount of worry! - and my feet today. "OH No! This is poking here. OH, No! A blister - this won't work!" All.Day.Long.

It dawned on me about 3 this afternoon that I think I'm projecting my anxiety about this trip - going to a place I've never been with 16 other people with me! - onto my feet. The "OH, No!" is really about my fear of getting all these folks over there for a transforming, life-changing experience and them hating it, or something terrible going wrong.

Or it could just be about finding shoes that fit. You make the call.