I'm wearing my glasses today. Actually have been since last Tuesday, and before that had another week of wearing them because of an eye infection.

Now, this may not seem to be such a big deal. "Aren't you grateful that you finally have NEW glasses to wear that are actually your prescription?" my husband asked me. Why, yes I am glad that I finally can see the leaves on trees and actually drive without scaring myself to death.

(Note to self: It is not ok to wear a prescription of-5.75 when you are, in actuality, a -7.75 glass-wearer. Don't wait so long to get the new lenses next time!)

The problem with wearing my glasses is that for the last week and a half I have felt so disoriented I can't hardly see straight! (You know what I mean...)

I feel like I'm not all here. Like I am about 30-seconds behind my life, trying to get my bearings. Like everything I've worked to put in order is unraveling at the ends and threatening to come apart altogether.

For instance, I have had this receipt I need to turn in for a party we hosted for a colleague. It has been marked, sitting on my desk, for about two weeks. (You may be fooled into asking, "Well, if you have had it for two weeks, why didn't you turn it in for reimbursement?" That would be a rabbit trail for another time...)

I can't find the %&*($ receipt now. I've looked EVERYWHERE! No matter that I kind find every other receipt for every miniscule purchase I have made in the past three months - no Wal-Mart receipt for those darn plates is here. And even though it was only for about $5, it makes me wonder...did I throw it away absentmindedly? Did I take it somewhere, thinking it would actually get to my boss that way? More disturbing than losing it is knowing that I probably did something with it that I cannot remember.

And then there is the credit card that I needed to use for curriculum yesterday. Did I have it? No. Can I find it? No. Do I know why it's not where it usually lives? Have no freakin' idea.

Then, when I was doing my devotional this morning, Richard Foster asked (in his book "Seeking the Kingdom") that I imagine I am the prodigal son in the story of Luke 15. The book suggests you imagine yourself as the son, and allow your story to unfold as needed. All I felt was that I was doing my thing but couldn't connect the dots...that I was in the same place but was so disoriented by it that I almost didn't know where I was. That I was, like the prodigal, floundering. Hmmm...so maybe this feeling of disorientation is not only about wearing my glasses, maybe it has a spiritual component as well?

Foster asked the reader to imagine turning for home. It was amazing how hard that was to do - to turn from this floundering-place and again find my bearings.

The loving parent did meet me on the way and embraced me and there was a whirlwind of welcome and hospitality. I am grateful that God welcomes me home again and again and again. Maybe I'll try to stay awhile and find out what this disorientation is really about. I think that would be a good idea.

And in the meantime, I've just gotten the ok to start wearing my contacts again. Thanks be to God!