(not their real names)

There is an elderly couple at church...let's call them Harold and Maude. They were part of the church before dirt was invented, or so I'm told. But I have noticed that Harold and Maude are deep down in their bones...Lutherans. By this I mean that they measure everything that happens at St. Stoic by what goes on at their friends' churches. Their friends are all Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod---Lutherans. (WELS for short).

Now the WELS church has very little in common with mine on the surface, aside from the Trinity and the love of coffee hour. I'm sure that deep down, there is more in common than one can find on the surface, but very few dig that deep, frankly. We just accept that we are different. My ordination would not be recognized by a member of their clergy, and members of their denomination would not even consider taking communion at St. Stoic. And everyone just pretends that that is okay. Sometimes, even me.

Harold has this uncanny ability (need) to approach me immediately after worship on about 2 of 4 Sundays a month and tell me what I have done wrong in worship. This morning it was letting everyone know that we practice "Open Table", which means that our Table is open to all believers. We had many visitors in worship today, members of one of our elderly (Harold and Maude's closest St. Stoic friend) member's family. It was important to me to emphasize this so that everyone felt able to make a decision to participate or not. Some did not, but I wanted it to be their decision, and for them to feel Christ's welcome.

"I want you to know that you are wrong about that open table bit. Children who are unconfirmed should not take communion. In fact, they shouldn't even be in the room when we take communion. You are dead wrong." was Harold's greeting to me this morning.

"Good morning, Harold. Good to see you." was all I could manage in reply. I mean, where do you start and where do you stop?

But Harold's remarks hung over me like a big grey cloud the rest of the morning. Harold is the legendary curmudgeon of St. Stoic's. He is legendary for insulting every pastor who has ever been there. He made a bona-fide 5-minute speech during announcements last Reformation Sunday about the importance of Martin Luther. (See what I mean about WELS?) He would not stop until I assured him from the pulpit that good old Martin figured prominently in my sermon. People tolerate his tirades because they have learned to tune him out. The eyes in the sanctuary just glaze and roll whenever Harold stands to speak. And when Harold speaks, he always stands and approaches the front of the church, so every one can see him, even if it's just to make a prayer request.

I decided long ago to love-bomb Harold, and to check in frequently on Maude. (She has a lot to put up with.) I decided this morning that my love-bomb would be information. So when I got home, I got out my trusty-rusty Book of Order and looked up the exact citation that informs us who is invited to the Table, and why. I have to confess, that while many Presbyterians are at best neutral about the Book of Order, I love it. I found the information and e-mailed it to Harold along with an explanation of why it is important to me to welcome all to the Table, not because the book says I have to (although it does) but because I feel Jesus would and Jesus did. I acknowledged that not every Christian tradition sees this the way we do, but in the end, I didn't apologize for doing what I did, but welcomed his questions and further comments. I just can't let Harold get lost in the shuffle because he pisses people off.

I haven't heard back from him yet, and am praying I did the right thing.

Regardless, the Table stays open.