One of the joys of having a true friend is that if you are lucky, they will occasionally call you on your shit. I had such a moment with a friend last week.

The scene: the beautiful waterfront of Semi-Famous city. Brilliant blue skies, shimmering Bay, breathtaking views of the bridge (the other one), ferry boats coming in and out of port, seagulls, tourists, the whole nine yards. He and I were seated at a table near the water, just catching up on everything that had happened in our lives in the past sixteen months. I'm giving him the run-down of some people that I had run into at the conference I was attending--people that we both know.

There is someone I used to know who sends my squick-meter off the charts. Having lived quite cose to this person I know perhaps much more than I want to know about him. I get a very negative gut-reaction from being within 10 feet of him. Obviously there is much to sort out about which parts of my reaction are because of him and which are because of me.

We are discussing this person, and I'm sharing my prediction that although he may be destined for greatness in the short term, I speculate that he will go, "down in flames." In fact I'm sure I repeated that phrase more than once: "down in flames."

I'm blabbing on and on about how this guy is doomed, and suddenly my friend says, "Are you familiar with the term "Schadenfreude"?

Me: "Um...yes."

Him: "I'm guessing this is what we're really talking about, eh?"

Me: (gulp) "Sadly, yes."

I'm feeling angry and embarrassed and ashamed of myself just re-thinking this. And immensely grateful to have people in my life who will let me know (in ways that are at the same time gentle but very direct) when I'm being petty, bitchy, and very un-Christ-like.

Now if I could just get over myself...