Yesterday I was driving to a meeting, listening to NPR as I usually do. I don't remember which show was on, only that it was devoted to the subject of abortion. My ears aways perk up a bit when I hear that word bandied about.

Abortion is big news this month, partly because this month marks the 36th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision legalizing first trimester abortion in the US, and because of Samuel Alito and his nomination to the Supreme Court. (In the interest of full disclosure, I have to inform you that Mr. Alito is referred to in my home, as in many other places, only as "Scalito". Make of that what you will. In fact, I had to spend a hard moment remembering what his last name actually was before I wrote that sentence just a second ago, so ingrained is "Scalito" in my brain.)

To gentle readers who may not be from the US: there is genuine fear that once Scalito is on the Supreme Court bench, women in the US will lose completely their already rapidly diminishing right to terminate a pregnancy.

I don't really want to debate the pros and cons of abortion. I really, really don't. I didn't *ever* want to debate the pros and cons of abortion. And then I found myself smack in the middle of the debate when I went to work for a women's health agency that specializes in reproductive health care. You know the one. Chances are you, or a friend, or a sister, or a friend's sister have been to a clinic. It offers a full-range of health care services.

I honestly believe that loving, kind-hearted, well-meaning, intelligent people have a full spectrum of deeply held opinions on the subject of abortion--not all of them jibe with my opinion. I would never in a million years ask someone to make a pregnancy choice that they themselves were uncomfortable with, simply because I thought my beliefs were right-er than hers.

Having said all that, I am outraged at the unfairness of the system that allows women in my fair state to have access to health care that women in other states do not have access to.

I was listening yesterday as story after story unfolded about women who must travel up to eight hours to arrive at the clinic, must be "educated" by the State on fetal development, must be offered an ultrasound image of the fetus, must be offered an oportunity to listen to fetal heart tones, and then after all of that, must go to a motel and return the next day for their procedure.

I know that back in the 90's the physician who performed abortions in my nearby city did not live in this state, but rather flew here twice a week, never using the same airline two weeks in a row, and randomly rotating the rental car companies he chose, out of fear for his own safety. He did not sleep at the same location here from week to week, but traveled all around a four county area, staying on the run like a criminal would.

Why is something that is legal so difficult? Banning abortion, as some are afraid will happen, will likely only effect poor women. Middle-class and wealthy women with health insurance will still be able to terminate pregnancies the same way they did before Roe--by traveling to another country, or by finding a doctor who will perform an endometrial aspiration based on a diagnosis of amenorhea (missed period). Those primarily effected will be the young, the poor, and the desperate.

One of the newest 'developments' in the abortion debate is the proliferation of notification laws--those state statutes which require certain women to get the permission of their parents or husbands to terminate a pregnancy. In a perfect world, every young woman would feel safe enough and have enough trust in her parents (and in herself) that she could discuss such important matters with them without fear of retribution. Lord knows I want WG and I to have that kind of relationship, that she could come to me with any problem and know that I would help her without judgment. And if I had a problem pregnancy, I would of course discuss it with my spouse. Openness and honesty are not the problem. Legislating familial relationships is a bad idea, however.

We don't live in a perfect world.

The state in which I live allows for other advocates to appear in court on behalf of minors who fear for their safety, should they ask a parent for permission to get an abortion, to get a judicial bypass of the state law. Clergy are among those who can appear on a minor's behalf. I have been thinking and praying lately about my own "ministry in the public square".

I think I know now what I have to choose.