For those who either have never been part of such an institution, or have forgotten what it's like, enjoy:

* I found out today that apparently I am the person responsible for knowing what to do with five outrageously large funeral-type flower arrangments.

* I was asked 10 minutes before worship where all the coffee was for coffee hour. Apparently we are out.

* A note was slipped under my study door asking me to please buy coffee this week.

* The piano tuner wants to come in tomorrow to do some sort of work on our piano. I am apparently the person who is responsible for letting him in the building, even though I was planning a much-needed "monastery day" away from the building.

* We had a congregational meeting today to vote on borrowing money (and asking Presbytery to approve such a loan) to do some much-needed work outside the building. The chair of the renovation work group already cherry-picked his helpers, but nobody told me. My plea for work group members was kind of embarrassing at that point.

* Four members e-mailed me to tell me that they would not be at the congregational meeting, but could I add four "Yes" votes to the vote count? (Um...no.)

* Any vote at a congregational meeting that is not unanimous is viewed completely suspiciously. People who are going to vote against the popular opinion generally know to stay home. They did.

* I found out today that the local Cemetary Board used the building on Wednesday night. Two elders are on that board.

* After worship and the meeting, a concerned parent came to me with the news that the nursery care person did not show today, nor last week when I was gone. The tragedy here is that I don't know who to call about that. That is clearly a ball that dropped from my hands.

That's all the news from Lake Wobegon, where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and some of the clergy are above average...