So, I decided to try National Novel Writing Month again this year. In past years, and there have only been a couple, when I tried, I failed miserably. My general word count per day just wasn't high enough and my motivation lacking.

But, I thought, this year will be different. I've already completed a novel; I know how to do this now.

Boy, was I ever delusional. Even going in with a concept (two actually) I never got the words down and when I did, I hated them. Writing became a trial, a test of endurance rather than a labor of love.

And for me, this is why NaNoWriMo doesn't work. Because it transforms my view of writing from "I want to explore this world and tell this story, so let's find the perfect words' to 'I have to hit these arbitrary benchmarks. Get the words out and worry about what it all means later.'

Now, please do not think that I am saying NaNo is bad. It's not. I know lots of writers that love it, that find it sparks brilliant ideas, breaks down writers' block, forces them to turn off internal editors that are keeping them from writing at all.

Further, it creates an incredibly supportive and interesting community of writers both locally and all around the world.

For many, many people it is a wonderfully positive thing. It just doesn't work for me. My writing process doesn't thrive under that kind of pressure, though I do like having deadlines in general. I am just not a throw it all at the wall and clean it up later kind of writer.

I ponder, plot, imagine both before I write and as I do so and this lends itself to a tremendous amount of revision that doesn't work with NaNo.

I'm also slow as sin and have this problem with doing things I 'have' to do. I start to get stubborn and put it off just because someone or something said I must and I'm going to prove them wrong.

That said, I recently got some positive feedback on my novel with notes for improvement. The changes this conversation sparked are extensive, requiring a re-imagining of the plot from the ground up. But, they will make for a much, much stronger book.

And in the week or so since that conversation I have started a revision mostly from the ground up and now have 37K words. Because I am excited and passionate and putting in eight to ten hours of writing isn't an obligation.

It's a joy.