The problem with coming up with ten things none of y’all have done, but that I have, is that I write these journal entries from the intersection of a weird Venn diagram of a readership.

Any farming background thing--like delivering a calf in a muddy field during a rain storm--can be matched (and bettered) by somebody from my family (hey Fred!). Any high school experience--like staying up all night playing Dungeons and Dragons in the house where Mark Twain’s parents were married--well, at least one person reading this has done that as well (hey Russ!). Writing stuff--having a story translated into a foreign language, say--lots of you have done (Ted and Kelly to name just two).

I’m probably safe with bicycling stuff, since I don’t think any of my cycling club friends read this, but none of the rest of you want me to list the different Kentucky county high points I’ve ridden my bike to, do you?

But let’s give it a go. I have:

(1) Gone swimming in the Atlantic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean and the Mediterranean Sea within the same calendar year.

(2) Met the current King of Morocco during his first visit to the White House as Head of State (he’d been before as a child, he told a story about playing with Amy Carter on the same lawn the welcoming ceremony took place on).

(3) Sat in the lap of the lead singer of the Oak Ridge Boys. I don’t actually remember this, thank God. I was about two or three years old.

(4) Been questioned by the Secret Service after crashing my bicycle into the White House fence.

(5) Been pick pocketed in the Paris subway, but had a mysterious passerby recover my wallet and return it to me by throwing it through the window of the departing train.

(6) A few weeks later, been decked by the same pickpocket when I recognized him on another line and tried to prevent him from robbing someone else.

(7) Been named a member of the Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels by two different governors.

(8) Married Gwenda Bond.

(9) Subverted the process.