The car money is accumulating, the Front Sight/Las Vegas vacation is rapidly approaching, the Burbank Convention will be upon us in October...these are all good things.

Still, something is rotten in Denmark.

My desire to socialize has been dropping steadily day by day. Without the promise of "Jay & Silent Bob" and marijuana, I'm unsure if I'd have endeavored to leave the house on Sunday. Perhaps, then, it's a strange sort of blessing that I'll be closing for the next two nights. Dunno. I'm trapped, it seems, by wanting to spend a bit more time alone and wanting to get out more. This is certainly a case for not waiting any longer than the end of October to buy my car. My life is very close to beginning...
closer than it's ever been and I feel like circling the wagons until I finally get to deal with everyone on my terms. The desire to get high is...considerable, these days. Especially considering the kind of people that sort of activity attracts. Straight-edge people demand too much of one's time. Everyone wants a piece, goddamnit, and there's only so much of me to go around and only so many days in the week.

Women. I need to associate with more women. They're infinitely less demanding, lately...

ANYWAY, enough babbling. I started this entry with Bush's "Come Down," as I was feeling fairly dismal. However, I've cycled through a few songs since I started this and I've come (back) to Incubus. Their single, entitled "Drive", is one of my favoured songs this season with it's catchy tune and strangely appropriate lyrics. You may have noticed they are the only band (and the only song) to have earned a whopping *two* (2! 2? 2!)subject titles in my journal entries since I've began them. With that, then, I'll leave you with 'em:


Sometimes,
I feel the fear of
uncertainty stinging clear
And I
can't help but ask myself
how much I'll let the fear
Take the wheel and steer

It's driven me before,
it seems to have a vague
Haunting mass appeal
Lately I'm
beginning to find that I
should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there,
I'll be there

So if I
decide to waiver my
chance to be one of
the hive
Will I
choose water over wine
and hold my own and drive, oh oh
It's driven me before,
it seems to be the way
That everyone else gets around
Lately, I'm
beginning to find that when I drive myself,
my light is found

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there,
I'll be there

Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there,
I'll be there