I do not understand people's unwillingness to simply defy their parents when the need arises.

See, I have this strange belief that your parents are no more immune from having to understand and accept you than anyone else. The fact that they've provided you with existance and a home doesn't mean they get to walk all over you for the rest of your life. They are not immune from being told that they can go fuck off.

*Nobody* is.

Now, granted, they certainly have the right to bounce you out on your ass for doing such a thing, but even then, it depends on the circumstances. Simple defiance, the type I've always excelled in, has always been worthy of equal punishment. However, when they get down on you for things that just bullshit, well...I say let 'em have it. Out-argue them and make 'em look stupid. They pick fights with you? Verbally stomp them into the ground. If you are made to feel like The Enemy, you should respond in kind. Your parents, like anyone else, MUST understand that *your* feelings are important. FORCE that realization upon them if that's what it takes, but do NOT let them get away with hurting you mindlessly. NO ONE in your life should be allowed to do that.

No one.

And if the relationship cannot survive such things, it is not healthy and you are better off without it.