i see - no future

i find - comfort in nothing around me

i want - things I can't have

i have - a few meager material possessions and people who keep me around because I make myself as painless as possible

i wish - for cash. lots of it

i hate - the part of me that prevents me fom accomplishing a goddamned thing

i miss - That Feeling

i fear - effort

i feel - nothing

i hear - memories, music

i smell - inoffensive

i crave - sensation

i search - for false solutions to my problems

i wonder - why the fuck I won't fix this

i regret - everything

i love - escapism

i ache - constantly

i long - for oblivion

i care - about nothing and no one. I make the pretense of doing so in an attempt to appear human and inoffensive.

i always - fuck everything up

i am not - worthwhile

i believe - in nothing

i cringe - at very few things

i dance - in the dark or alone or in a crowd

i sing - not as well as I used to

i cry - never

i succeed - never

i fail - constantly

i fight - myself

i write - here and nowhere else, really. I keep thinking maybe I should change that...

i give - little

i won - something, once, probably

i lose - everything, little by little

i never - do much of anything

i confuse - more things than I'm sure I'm aware of

i listen - well, if I decide to

i can usually be found - unless I want to be found

i am scared - of something, but I'm not sure what it is

i hope - that somehow, something will change. This is futile because it's me that needs to change and I appear unwilling to do so.

i expect - something...

i need - help. desperately. REAL help.