I meant to write a real entry earlier, but the whole thing kind of got away from me in a fit of test-taking. Perhaps this will help faciliate something...

1. What was the first thing you ever cooked? Hamburgers. The frozen ones. I got really good at it for a while...

2. What's your signature dish? Don't really have one, though I'm periodically called upon to construct the spaghetti (wherein I always forget the bread) or chilli (wherein I'm barred from making the whole pot as spicy as *I* like it) for dinner.

3. Ever had a cooking disaster? (tasted like crap, didn't work, etc.) Describe. I've let a few of my breakfast creations get over-greasy (which is a slightly increasing danger with these new non-stick pans we got) and I've burned the odd bread item, but I can't recall any particular disasters offhand...

4. If skill and money were no object, what would make for your dream meal? I imagine I'd make some ungodly pasta dish from 'Molto Mario'; Mario Batali is a badass. Maybe Lasagna Bolognese al Forno with...I dunno, somethin'. Alternatively, I love cajun & creole food, but I don't think I'd know if I'd want anything to do with Emeril Lagasse's bastardized creations. Sure, a lot of it looks great, but he's the Wolfgang Puck of N'awlins (take that however you'd like). 'Sides, part of the point of cajun food is that you *don't* have any fuckin' money; thus the freaky mishmash of ingredients in gumbo and jambalaya and po'boy sandwiches.


5. What are you doing this weekend? No fuckin' clue yet.

It occurs to me now, that I don't have a clue as to how one actually makes an omelette. I mean, I know ya got scrambled eggs+whatever, but I don't know how you turn it into an *omelette* as opposed to...well, scrambled eggs+whatever. I was once a devotee of the Food Network, especially when they presented one of the best television shows ever (Quench), but I fell out of the habit after a while and I never saw a single episode involving people making breakfasts (with the exception of crepes, I guess). Rogue episodes of David Rosengarten's "Taste" got harder to find and my interests fluttered elsewhere. Rosengarten, it should be noted, is a psychopath, but an interesting (if not amusing) one. Few chefs would have the balls to do a show on BLT's and fewer still would have them big enough to give them their own freaky snob appeal. Besides, it's not as if he doesn't know what he's doing and he was always nice enough to tell you what drink goes with whatever he's just made, which you don't get from a lot of other hosts. Now, as many have heard me rant and rave before, "Quench" was all about alcohol and alcohol culture (which I adore more than the alcohol itself). They even made wine interesting and I really fuckin' don't like wine (though I am curious if Beaujolais or Beaujolais Nouveau might change my mind). This show was so good, I have episodes on tape, including one featuring the history of the martini. The only real downside was that a) the show was only a half-hour b) I was the only person on the planet who watched it c) and anytime they talked about a nightspot, it was in NYC. Ah well.