You're Brad Pitt. You're not really a vampire, but you play one in a movie.

Find your inner vampire.

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And on a separate note, I'm clearly in a very weird mood. You know something's different when reading people's journals is infinitely more interesting than porn...

...not that I'm complaining. I'd rather be ruled by my loins among humans of the appropriate gender as opposed to alone with the computer. Who wouldn't?