I’ve been getting this question a lot recently. Usually it’s from new parents who ask me with a tone of voice that implies I’m one strip of Lindt chocolate away from tossing both kids out the window. Lindt chocolate, as well as the large container of chocolate chips in the freezer, has saved their lives on many occasions, but until recently I would have replied, with maybe the slightest hint of smugness, “It’s easy. It’s fun. It’s no problem.”

And for a while that was really true. I think what happened was we battened down the hatches for another Rose. Rose was a high needs baby: she was the worst sleeper in the world; had to be held by me or John only and constantly; refused to eat solids; nursed in 10 minute chunks every half hour; screamed in the car; and took short naps. Uff dah!

So, we set up our lives to cope with that child. We kept Rose in daycare three days a week; John arranged his schedule so he only had meetings and no classes spring quarter; we put my mom on a regular babysitting gig.

Then we got David, Mr. Easy as Pie. He likes to play in his saucer. He likes to hang out with lots of folks. He sleeps.

And we got Rose who actually adores him and is wonderful with him. So, I can check my email and Rose will shake a rattle at David. I can make a sandwich and Rose will kiss him on the forehead and play peek-a-boo. Has anyone noticed this is a twofer? Both kids are happily occupied.

My life was so mellow I took a freelance writing job.

And then, we took Rose down to one day of daycare for the summer, John got mono, Mom broke her foot, and the work deadline started bearing down. Suddenly, I was the single parent of an infant and a pre-schooler, trying to work 10 hours a week.

How is it with two?

Try attempting to nurse one child to sleep while undressing, reading stories to, and brushing the teeth of the other child. Try singing bedtime songs to one child while the other child is screaming. Then we have the tag team whiners or even better in sync. And my favorite, just get the baby to sleep to have him immediately woken by the older one’s temper tantrum.

I realized during the six weeks of John’s illness that I had never actually been on duty with two for more than an hour at a time. I was always home with John somewhere around. Even if he was trying to get some work done, he could always emerge to cope with the screams or the dirty diapers or getting me fed. Or I was hanging out with my sister. She can hold the baby while I run to the bathroom. She can make cheesy rice for Rose.

Taking care of two children all day long by yourself is way hard.