9:00
Rose is in her blue flowered party dress—sleeveless, tulle underskirt—on the floor playing with her doll house. She narrates their adventures. She gets the dolls on the teeter totter, but one falls off. She needs nothing from me. I offer her a cheese stick. She refuses to look at me or acknowledge the food. “Maybe it’s her hair,” she says. David had me up from 4:45. I am in a foul mood.

11:30
The pool is dazzling with bobbers, kickers, clingers to backs, and bubble blowers. Rose floats in Daddy’s arms. Then she puts her torpedo arms together and pushes off the steps, face underwater. She jumps in and comes up shaking drops out of her eyes and looking for me. I smile and nod big, “Yes, I saw. I saw.”

I am sitting in the shade nursing David to sleep. He’s out. I pass him to Grandma Sheila and race to be the adult a child can play on. I swing Kate in circles. I hold Rose while she tips her head to the sky. Avery squiggles and twists so fast I don’t know where to turn; I am the maypole and she the ribbon. I am easy with the world.

1:30
The kids have eaten their fluffernutter sandwiches. They’ve sung happy birthday. They’ve eaten the chocolate cake. Now they are in the little sandy area by the lake. Their party dresses are on the picnic tables. Rose wanders about in her white underpants holding her red pail. She is making birthday cake and needs just the right combination of sand and water. She is far down the hill from me.

4:00
Rose, David, and I are sitting on the front porch chilling out. Everyone is dehydrated, over stimulated and not pleasant to be around. Rose starts acting like a three year old. “Why does David get two chew toys? I want a chew toy. I want two chew toys. I want the fishy one. This one is too hard.” Did I say chilling out? I meant freaking.

5:00
Rose, David, and I load up the new t-ball set and head to the park. David is in the front pack, the bat is in the stroller, and Rose and I hold hands and push together. I have told her I am not answering any more why questions today. She tries to trick me and laughs if I slip up and answer. It’s all very four.

We take turns hitting the ball. I do some bad slapstick which amuses her. I’m still tired and dehydrated and get annoyed when she bats the ball into my tush. I manage not to speak sharply. She manages not to have a temper tantrum. We have a really fun time playing together.