R: L. said if I was friends with M. she would pull my shirt down.
D: Huh, that's not very nice. What would you do?
R: I'd pull it away like this.

R: M. and L. say if I don't share my food with them (her gluten-free snacks), they won't be my friends, but the teachers say I can't share my food.
D: Well, if the teachers say you can't share it, then you can't. I don't think it's nice to tell someone they won't be your friend like that. This is tough. I'm not sure what to do.
R: I could tell them I am their friend.
D: Great idea.

I hate this. I hate the threat of sexual violence. I hate the traps. You have to pick me or her. If you pick me, I'll tell her and we'll both hate you. I want to tell Rose that people who treat you like this are not worthy of being your friend. Respect the teachers. Don't cave in to threats. But I'm not sure how to say all this at age four appropriateness.

I want Rose to have people to spin with on the tire swing. I want her to join any group of kids at the sensory table and swirl the beans with them. I want her to bring out John the fish at show and share time and have the other kids eager to hear what she has to say. I don't want her heart broken or hardened or sold. And I would rather she be banished from the playground clique than have her be the banisher.