yesterday's discipline descent

Best choice--head off these situations before they happen. But none of us had had a nap, I made the wrong decision to just leave the doctor's office instead of going to the bathroom first, and the cheese stick I had managed to shove into her on the way over had obviously not done the trick.

So, Rose starts screaming at David, and then she's having such a fit she doesn't pay attention when I ask if she wants to get out of the car before I pull into the driveway. I pull in, cut the engine, and she is just revving up.

Second choice—discipline through distraction: Hey Rose! A black cat just went into our house. Come help me see if it left any footprints all over the clean floors. I wonder when Grandpa Jere is coming over. Let's go inside and call him. Is that a cheese stick sitting on the front seat?

Third choice—bribery masquerading as order of operations. Honey, first we need to get out of the car, then I can read you a book. Did your new magazine arrive today? Let's go in the house and see. I think Daddy bought some of those new cheese sticks with the jokes on them.

And that leaves us with consequences. The parenting books I read say consequences should be immediate and natural. I screwed this one up too. Because when she was screaming at David, I said, "If you do that two more times there are going to be consequences." But I could not think what they would be, so this dire threat just hung there until we hit the driveway and then I got to tack on the additional charge of banging the new car door into the cement wall.

Eventually, I did enough tap dancing (in the rain, holding David, while needing to pee), and she pulled herself together enough that we could go inside.

today's better outcome

Frankly, I think today just went better because Rose and I were both in good moods, but I'll pretend I have good strategies.

1. Plan the incentives/bribes ahead of time. David and I walked through a gale to check out library books, a great enticement for my girl.
2. Feed her--I had the cheese stick waiting in the car.
3. Know the consequences ahead of time and tell her—Once we were all buckled in, I said, "Ok, Rose, White Bear, Mommy, if anybody screams or distracts me while I drive, I'm going to pull over. That's the consequence." We talked to White Bear about his loud snoring.
4. Role play with me on the hot seat—Rose threw her cheese stick wrapper on the car floor. Then she said, "What's the consequence if I don't pick it up?" I said, "Then you don't get to eat cheese sticks in the car again." But before we could get into a long fruitless negotiation about that I said, "What's the consequence if I don't bring my apple core into the house?" And she got to chastise me.

Even with all those and getting dinner to her early and reading to her over dinner, we still had some moments. That's when I brought in the heavy ammunition.

D: knock knock
R: who's there?
D: rude interrupting cow?
R: rude interrupt. . .
D: moooo!