Why are three rolls of toilet paper on the bathroom counter?

Well, every time I put one back on the holder, David pulls the paper down and stuffs the pieces in his mouth.

And the other two?

They were under the counter. David decided to play in there while I was drying off from our bath. I finally blocked the door when he went for the toilet bowl cleaner.

And why didn't you put them back after he went to sleep?

How long have you lived with me?

Why is there a bag of pee-soaked clothes in the middle of the hallway?

Hey, they're in a bag.

Why is there a plastic straw in Rose's pillow corner?

I let her little brother play in her room while she was at school. Don't tell.