Hansa died. Hansa, the first elephant born at the zoo, the first baby elephant I've ever seen.

Hansa was born when I was newly pregnant. We called the fetus Hansa. I joked about carrying an elephant. I pictured the fetus as an elephant cavorting in fields. At the baby showers people gave us elephant blankets, bath towels, picture frames, elephant rattles, and elephants in pink ballet slippers and tutus.

When Rose was born, we added a new stuffed animal to our family, Hansa the elephant. We read Rose the picture book about Hansa. We visited often. I saw Hansa just a month ago. Did you know elephants nurse until four? There’s something about a creature so huge acting so playful that delights. Hansa was just six and a half.

The mortality rate among children is not zero. It is the unthinkable.