I’ve become an expert at nosebleed care the last couple days.

1. Have the blood-gushing scared child sit up, leaning forward a little. Easiest done if you have your arm around the child and a book in your lap, leaning forward for the pictures you see.

2. Pinch the nose and press in toward the bone for 10 long minutes. One medical expert said five minutes but don’t bother. You’ll only get blood all over shirts, pants, jammies, and wads and wads of tissues.

3. Tell the story about the princess, the fairy, the unicorn, the giant, and the Pegasus. I’m sure they fly somewhere and get to be magic. Read the story you swore you wouldn’t read again. Sing “The other day I met a bear” twice doing all the repetitions yourself. Sing “Little Bunny FuFu” twice. Curse yourself for ever introducing “Little Bunny FuFu.” You’re allowed to pause to talk to the consulting nurse who will have nothing helpful to say.

4. Repeat step 2.

5. Repeat step 3.

6. When the blood finally stops, anywhere from 10-60 minutes in my experience, work on lubrication: saline drops (rejected out of hand by my child), Vaseline on a q-tip (accepted with some trepidation), humidifier (eagerly agreed to.)

7. If the blood doesn’t stop, go to the emergency room. Luckily, we haven’t hit this step yet. I think we will visit the doctor Monday.

I’ve become such an expert because Rose had a nosebleed while opening birthday presents at Grammy and Grandpa Joe’s house in Ohio, as we got in the car after going out for ice cream, over dinner that night, and right before bed. Luckily, she did not have one in the middle of the night or on the airplane today. I thought we were in the clear until she had one right before bed tonight as I was, gasp, doing the dishes.

Aside from setting bedtime back an hour on a day that started at 3:00 a.m. body time, we’re doing ok—no hysterics (by parents or child). Rose did great.