Um, what went right? Neither Rose nor I had a fit.

My friend Kate called me last night and said, “Hey, I haven’t gone to the zoo in a long time. Let’s go to the zoo tomorrow.” I have not had much luck on zoo trips, but I thought, “Hey, I’ve got nothing else planned, I have to get the kids out of the house in the morning, it’s supposed to be in the 50’s.” I said yes.

It took serious bribing to get Rose to agree--a ride in the wagon, she plots the route, a ride in the carousel, a special notebook and pen to record her observations.

I called Kate at 9:00 to give her the plan—no answer. I made the kids’ snack, lunch, treat. Packed some warm clothes. Called Kate again—no answer. I crammed everyone into the car, got the heater going (the ice on the window should have been a warning), and called one last time. So, off I went to the zoo with no adult to gossip with.

Despite the holiday, we beat the crowds and didn’t have to wait in long lines stamping our feet from the cold (cold toes after two minutes should have been a warning.)

We saw the zebras. Very cool. Rose spotted the hippo actually outside the pond. (You’d think the ice around the edges of the pond would have clued me in.) And the lions were magnificent. The male kept walking his territory and huffing. I could see his whole body pull in to push out the sound. David loved the lions and refused to leave. (I should have known we were in trouble when David actually agreed for me to put on his second coat, mittens, and second hat.)

Rose and I wanted to go to the giraffes and from there the elephants. David wanted to stay at the lions. We made it a few feet with me carrying David and Rose pulling the wagon when Rose, in a very calm voice, said she was too cold. And she was right. We were all too cold. Rose to keep going, me to keep her going, and David to maintain his sanity.

Then we had to make it all the way back to the car with Rose pulling the wagon and me carrying David. I spent at least five minutes trying to shove the screaming David into his carseat and gave up. I physically couldn’t do it.

Interlude: Heater on. I ate my lunch. Rose ate hers. David deigned to be served a yogurt. David and Rose kicked me out of the driver’s seat and attacked the windshield wipers and the lights. I tried for the balance of giving John more time off with my need for a bathroom.

After the five minute warning, the bribe that didn't work (you can drive the car more when we get home), the threat that didn't work (if you don’t get in, you can’t drive the car when we get home), and the distractive silliness (I think a donkey says baahh), I managed to shove David in.

Rose didn’t have a temper tantrum or even whine. I did not cry, swear, or even raise my heart rate perceptibly. Still, to heck with the zoo.