I am dumbfounded by this. I know I sound completely naïve and maybe a little holier-than-thou, but I am truly shocked by this statistic which I read here.

One of our family mottos is “Anyone is capable of abusing a child.” Like don’t think you don’t have a breaking point and make sure you walk away before you break over the kid.

I used to fantasize about throwing my daughter out the window or possibly bashing her head against the bed frame. John and I would discuss the various options of making her just shut up. It was great fun.

I have yelled at my children. I have never hit them.

Who are these 90%? Do they all come from cultures where it is appropriate to strike children? I wouldn’t consider that appropriate in my culture. Do they think Mr. I’m Ignoring You and Going to Keep Standing on My Chair No Matter What You Say will start behaving if you smack him around? How do you turn around and tell little Susie “no hitting” when Mommy does it? Did no one ever teach them about counting to ten, taking a personal time-out, deep breaths, perhaps even crying?

90%. According to the article, that number hasn’t changed in 30 years even as the “number of parents who hit older children has drastically decreased.” I know some of my readers must be part of that 90%. I know they might be feeling defensive or annoyed right now, like I just don’t get it. I’ll try to understand. I’ll try to be gentle and patient and kind, and when I am so angry I want to smack them, I will walk away, take a deep breath, and start again.